My World

Braces 5th month

2012-01-10T16:46:00.001+08:00

I am going for my 6th month appointment already and I realized I forget to post my 5th month experience. I swear the first few days I tightened my braces, the feeling was totally HORRIBLE. That was the time I really regretted putting my braces. I felt I was just being vain and stupid.

I think that the main reason was because I had 2 types of method of putting the bands on my top row of teeth. I had power chain and the normal method which I forgotten the name. This months I also had to wear elastic, it's such a hassle. I remember this whole day I forgot to wear my elastic and when i realized it I scream out. Haha.

This month my teeth feels so sore, but like what my friend, Nicole always console and encourage me, the sore and pain will worth it when you see your set of beautiful teeth in future. True though, must hang on there. Something glad, my bottom 2 teeth have straighten! So happy when I realized it! ;) this month color is red and green, Christmas color :) belated Merry Christmas!

Happy New Year.

2012-01-04T21:02:00.000+08:00

It has been quite some time since I last post. Sometimes I feel blogging is such a hassle, really. This is very evident at times like this when I feel 24hours a day is totally insufficient. There's so much things to do and I wished I have so many of myself to complete all of them. I don't want to be the old me where I don't do homework and stuff. However, I can't find the motivation to start them. This is already the last week of holiday already. Seriously, kill me. I don't to lose to people but at this rate I'm just going to bottom the class. Everyone is working way too hard, they are scaring me. I know it's JC2 already but aren't they taking studies too seriously? The only thing I know and I am working to is to not retain and I must graduate this year. I will do whatever I can to achieve this goal. No excuse and whatsoever. I can't afford to retain and I don't what to. I really hope this year can be smooth-sailing.

Enough of my studies ranting! I just came back from my Macau-Guangzhou-Shenzhen trip! I went there for 8days, I think this is my longest trip so far as I had traveled out of Singapore. Although it is annoying when my uncle starts nagging and stuffs but it is so far the trip I have enjoyed the most and I made several promises to myself that I will want to achieve in future. I must achieve them! I took quite a number of pictures but I am so lazy to sort them out... I really want to write out the blog post to teach you exactly how to visit and travel around the area. I will do it once I have the time, I promise!

Anyway, I will want to wish everyone Happy New Year! May you achieve all your new year resolutions. Like what I have posted on Facebook: My wish is for my studies to be smooth-sailing and most importantly my family to remain healthy and happy. Maybe because of the age getting older and older, while I am seeing my relatives also getting older and older seeing them having more and more illnesses I am just afraid of their health. May my wishes come true! :)

2012 will definitely not be an easy year. However, since when was life easy in the first place? We just have to press on to whatever situation we are undergoing. Habits of Mind, persisting.

Braces 4th month.

2011-11-22T11:00:00.001+08:00

Time flies aren't it? I have been wearing my braces for the fourth month already. Just went for tooth extraction.

My doctor say something funny "You are going to be cooperative right? If you are, then I will extract your front teeth." I agree and he did but he says this would take a longer time then the back teeth.

The pictures below is the whole process of my teeth extraction. I extracted 2 tooth. I would say, it's aren't pain during the process of extraction. According to Dr Lee, he says he is good at this. He is forever so funny.

I think the most scary part is to taste the blood in my mouth, it's damn disgusting. It looks scary too when I spit it out it's very very dark red, close to black. I was shocked by that though. I'm still tasting blood in my mouth. EEEEEWWW!

My mouth is totally numb now, i tried pinching it just now and it doesn't feel anything. I bet the pain going to come later, real soon.

I have no idea why i can't change the sequence but that's from the last picture to the first one.

I was pinching real hard but I can't feel anything.

On the way home after teeth extraction. SUPER UGLY. LOOK AT THE BLOOD!

Look at my retarded face because it was numb and I can't move much.

My full set of 28 teeth now only left with 26

I slept for 3 hours straight after reaching home. I'm super awake now.

Before I left Dr Lee said "Don't go and play ah, go home and rest!" Seriously, do I even have the play face? I love to stay at home ok!

Ok, back to the point, tooth extraction isn't a very scary thing though. A lot better than what I thought it will be. Before Dr Lee extract my teeth he just inject anesthetic on my gum i think it's like 3-4 because the needle is so thin I can't feel and sense the number of injections. After all, if you are going to put braces and require teeth extraction, don't worry it will be alright! :)

Thanks to my friend Melissa who call herself the guo lai ren who kept telling me it will be fine don't be afraid, don't be scared. It was so nice of her!

There it goes, my fourth month of braces!

Bye.

2011-11-17T00:54:00.001+08:00

Well, today is the last day with the subject named Project work. I went to school today to submit my Insights and Reflection. Oh yeah man, this is it we can bid goodbye to the subject, the baby we have been carrying for the pass many months. This is definitely a sense of achievement for being able to pull through the pain, meeting deadlines and the stress that it comes with.

However, I believe like what Ms Chong says "You would have definitely learn a lot from this project work journey", indeed we did. All these lessons learnt in project work will shape us into a better person and even more prepared for our future journey. The end was definitely a sweet one.

Let's hope for the best next April!

The picture I took for the consolidation for the group project files in 1123C. With the submission of our files, we eventually mark an end to our project work journey.

Finally, we made it till the end. Nothing else matters.

There were supposed to be more updates but I have not finish updating my pictures. Maybe I will update during the weekends. Look forward ok? :)

Updates: Food Trip to AMK & my FIRST experience with MOS Burger!

Over and done with.

2011-11-16T02:02:00.001+08:00

I have got this - woot, a sigh of relief feeling the moment the assessors said audiences and presenters please leave the room quietly and dont loiter outside the classroom. That moment, I felt this tormenting process is coming to an end, yes it is. We did it, we survive through the toughest time. That memorable moment. IJ062 was the last in the whole cohort to do our oral presentation like what Miao Shan said " this would be memorable." Yes, it will be.

Well, I guess OP was kind of fine? Although it was tormenting to wait for the few minutes for OP to start, that was the longest few minutes. Furthermore, i forgot one sentence but Miao Shan did help me by going to the next slide and pull me back on track. Cannot image if she didn't do that I would have just died there. Seriously. Thank you MIAO SHAN <3

Hope IJ062 did well together and we shall all smile to take our PW results next year!

If everything is so smooth, the end wouldn't be this sweet.

The bed is calling me, goodnight <3

Really?

2011-11-14T21:11:00.001+08:00

I realised I kept checking my nuffnang today because I wanted to see how was the respond of the visitor to my blog. I was think on how can I improve to gain more visitors.

I came across this funny thing! I saw this:

Did you see what I see?! People from United States visit my blog?! Is nuffnang like serious or it's just a joke? I am super amazed now.

Well, tomorrow will be the day that I can end my project work (hopefully). That is if I can submit my GPF and I&R that TADA. I'm done. I have been looking forward to this day for so long. I hope everything can end smoothly, I really hope so.

"everything gonna be alright"

I wanted to say wish me good luck then I remember what Ms Idzhana said before, luck is fickle. Indeed it is, wish me all the best instead.

Wish me all the best.

Braces 3rd month

2011-11-14T02:01:00.000+08:00

Well, time for an update with my braces process. I don't know whether it is supposed to be a good thing though, life with braces have been quite alright or I could even say good. Eating normally, having minimal cuts on my mouth and stuff.

But I think the horror is coming, need to pluck my teeth on the 22th of November! Crossing my finger and toes hoping things to be alright. Moreover, I shall show you the color of my band this month, I think it's AWESOME and COOL :D

Here it goes:

" Life is like a rainbow. You need both the sun and the rain to make it's colors appear"

I randomly found this quote hopping to match the color of my braces rainbow. I find the quote so true and philosophical. My friends felt that my bands color are very cool which I totally agree! (OPPS, so BHB!) I remembered this incident whereby this salesperson kind of got shocked by the color of my bands and lost her words. It was an epic moment, I just smile and walk off. That was damn funny. HAHA.

Oh well, it's so late now. Still have to be in school tomorrow, need to sleep soon. *yawn*

11th November 2011

2011-11-13T02:29:00.001+08:00

11/11/11.

Such a rare date. Whether this day was a good day, I would say it was kind of a mixed feeling for me. It was feeling rather lost because that was the day I was supposed to end oral presentation by doing our presentation. However, one of my group member lost her voice. Thus, our exam was rescheduled to next tuesday. This meant that the journey of project work will end later. You wouldn't say it is a bad thing though because that mean more time to practice on my weaker component like Q&A... but I still felt sad.

However, this day wasn't this bad because it my son - CINDY'S BIRTHDAY. HAPPY BELATED 17th on my blog. We (consisting of Iris, Yushan and Lixin) gave her a surprise at TP! She didn't look shocked as Iris though, queen of shock. HAHA. Bought her a cake, cut it and eat it before we left for steamboat session :)

I swear I was freaking full from the steamboat session, I ALMOST WANTED TO PUKE OK? Just because it's buffet and I want to make my money worth it. GRRR! But still, it was great to get together once again for the fact that we are all in different schools. Love those time with them <3

Cindy, Happy Birthday!

Continue to do well in your course ok?

Always feel proud when you tell us how well you have done in school.

Jiayou for studying and everything else.

Sweet 17~

11/11/11 is indeed a special day, spending this once in a lifetime day with my special friend which is an 11/11/11 birthday girl. Woot! :)

saw this tweet: "11/11/11 is once in a lifetime, but everyday is also once in a lifetime isn't it? "

Macau-Shenzhen-ZhuHai Day 1

2011-11-10T01:47:00.000+08:00

As promise to myself and whoever that reads my blog, time to update on how to do a bag pack travel to Macau, Shenzhen, Zhu Hai then back to Macau. I wanted to tell people how to go mainly because I faced a lot of trouble to plan for my route so this is why I want to share my experience. Hopefully it can make things easier for people who are going to plan trip there.

People may be puzzled, why travel from Macau to Zhu Hai to Shenzhen and back to Zhu Hai then Macau. It's such a waste of time. However, the reason I will give is (& that's my reason) CAUSE THE TICKETS ARE CHEAP. This time I took Macau Air, NOT BUDGET AIRLINE HAPPY ME :D

I edited all the pictures, still a newbie in editing pardon me. Some of the url as wrong. ARGH, blur me but i too lazy to reedit + i didn't save the psd file. forget it.

Day 1
Early in the morning we leave Singapore to Macau on Macau Air.

While I was on the plane.

The food that was given to us, I forgot about the taste because it was too long ago.

Don't know why we have to take a bus ride from the plane to the terminal(not very far) but that's how I took this shot.

After getting our passport "stamped", my mum and I were waiting for our luggage.

After you exit from the airport, look for the bus AP1 if you want to leave Macau to Zhu hai because this bus will bring you all the way to the custom.

While waiting for the bus, decided to call mum for a photo shot :)

The day we took the bus it was rather packed and what I see is that everyone starts rushing and pushing to enter the bus. It feels kind of uncomfortable. You have to pay for the bus ride, forget about the exact price but I remember it's less than 10 hongkong dollar. It possible, prepare some coins with you, it comes in handy when you take public transport.

While squeezing with the people around me, I realized this interesting speed meter that is shown openly on the bus ( it wasn't there last year when I was there during November). I think the speed meter is trying to ensure the bus driver is driving at a safe speed, ensuring safety of passengers. Quite cool.

Didn't really when to time how long we took to reach the custom that cross the border of Macau to Zhu Hai. But I felt it was rather long, i think it was due to the new road that the bus have to turn and travel a longer distance. But well, there we are safe and sound. When entering Zhuhai, remember to fill in the arrival to China immigration card, it's yellow in color.

After getting out of custom, welcome to Zhuhai. My mum and I was harassed by some driver because they saw that both of us were girls, be really careful and know where you are going don't get coax and believe in them. We told them we want to go to the ferry terminal then they say that cost 100RMB, totally trying to scam us. I asked and pulled my mum away..

We went asking around where to get the ferry ticket and it is somewhere near the custom, you somehow have to cross the road to the side that is opposite Jinye Hotel 金叶酒店, it rather prominent there, no worries.

After purchasing the tickets, there is a bus that sent us to here:

Jiu zhou gang ji che ke yun zhan 九州港汽车客运站

The ferry terminal is next to this.

After waiting for a while, we got into the boat. & that's what is available on the boat. If I am not wrong, nobody purchase any of it. I don't think whether it's just me but I experience discomfort on the boat, felt like vomiting.

But the reason why we chose to take boat is because it is faster as compared to the other mode of transport, which is bus. Bus takes around 3 hours excluding traffic jam. Moreover, we are running on a tight schedule, thus we decided to take boat.

After the 1 hour ride, we reach SHENZHEN! We will arrive at 蛇口客运码头 Shekou Ferry Terminal. It is rather off from the city area. You don't need to fill in any immigration card because Shenzhen and Zhu hai are both in China.

When I was searching how to get from the Shekou Ferry Terminal, I got many different answers and but mostly are to take bus and taxi which is costly. However, when I was searching for Shenzhen metro map I realized it is able to take Shenzhen metro all the way to the City area which is Lohu and my destination is LaoJie station 老街站。

This is so called your "ticket" to take the train. My mum unwillingly help me take the "tickets" for me to take the picture.

Waiting to board the train. We changed 2 trains to get to Laojie station. It was rather crowded when we were in the train although it was like 3 in the afternoon.

We took a very long time to find our hotel, we kept walking in cycles -.- After putting our luggage down, we quickly went down to have our commoner late lunch. This only cost me like 10 RMB if I didn't remember wrongly. I swear the portion is freaking huge! & everyone there eats like this or even larger portion!

Next day, to be updated soon! Stay tuned! Do ask me if you have any questions, I will try my best to answer :)

Once a month?

2011-10-25T17:21:00.002+08:00

I realised I have been blogging like once a month? so coincidentally the last time I blog is like last month. So lazy to blog nowadays. My everyday schedule have been filled with so many things. This week is like chinese and project work intensive week. So busy!

The last post I have been like complaining how I am going to screw my mid-course examination. Moreover, I got back all my results now. I wouldn't say that is screwed because I pass all subjects except for General Paper (GP). I was hoping to pass GP because I really like this subject where I am given the chance to convey my point of view to the marker, but sadly I didn't pass! Why like that! :(

Not in school today, I realized almost every week i take one MC. Seriously, it's not that I want it. My throat is like forever giving me problem. From time to time it gets infected. I think maybe the last time I didn't finish my antibiotics that's why. I need to be a good girl and finish it up! Cant afford to fall sick again! So much money spend on seeing the doc! Twice this month! ARGHHH!!

Seeing the reality of life today. People care of their grades more than the well-being of another person. I try to do my best as much as I can since I am not in school but that doesn't mean I am pushover ok? I am nice doesn't mean I must do you want. I was so pissed today. But i shouldn't let this spoils my mood for today! cause i say this on Facebook:

Every day may not be good.. but there is something good in every day ♥

I am going to forget about the not good part and continue living today.
Cause live like there's not tomorrow~ <3

Gonna post how to visit shenzhen from macau later :) (on my to-do list!)

Thinking hard.

2011-09-13T09:10:00.001+08:00

Life is filled with so many uncertainties now, it wasn't like this in the past - never. Even without studying my my math when I was in secondary 3 & 4, I will still be able to do ok for my tests and exams. But things are aren't the same anymore, I try my best understand and study I couldn't even understand. More than half of the time I'll just seat there and stare at that math question. I feel so unless, why am I like that? Math used to be the subject I like the most, now that I can't do it freak me. I can't do my favourite subject, what more can I expect from my other subjects? Maybe nothing.

Mid-course (aka promos) are coming, in just 20 days time. I'm not even prepared. Not enough practice, mentally unstable. How how how? 6 subjects for A level I don't feel confident for any. Good job girl. I fear I will retain. I know I didn't enter a junior college to get retain, never was that in my thought ever. However, this few weeks I can't help to be thinking it I don't feel prepare at all, how to enter the hall? I, myself know pretty well how I'm going to screw it (upside down). Looking how people starts to mug, while I'm not just tells me how I'll do. Most probably pretty bad?

How? I know perfectly well I have to study hard but the time I had is killing me. Just gonna hang on there and finish and final lap then we'll start thinking about the rest.

Thinking hard.

Never change who you're.

2011-09-11T02:37:00.001+08:00

Never change who you're., a photo by IfEverythingisPossible on Flickr.

I'm gonna stay strong like I have always been regardless of what happens.

getting no where.

2011-09-11T02:36:00.000+08:00

This september holiday is horrible! I hate it when I have to keep thinking about studies and stuff. However, the thought that I may get retained just fear me, acting as an echo that scolds me when I am slacking doing things unrelated to studies ( like not typing this post on my lap top). I feel that I definitely don't work well with stress, too much stress will cause me to go bonkers and I think I am moving towards it already.

I try my best to do my work but can't solve it but my peers are able to do it? What does it says about my capability and ability? It shows that I totally sucks, nothing but a nice piece of unless shit. Damn, hate it, why am I like that? I know I shouldn't be comparing to my peers, after all I am who I am but, in this shit reality world, I don't live alone there comes comparison. Well, I'm living "well" with it like bullshit.

Don't know why am I so vulgar in my language today. But I had a great day with my family today. Anyway, no matter how unhappy I am I will leave it to now after my sleep everything will be alright because it's a fresh new day. I will make a difference to tomorrow.

Don't let today change tomorrow, cause tomorrow will be better than today.

down.

2011-08-23T16:45:00.001+08:00

I guess I'm going to be really truthful on my blog since it's my blog anyway. I guess there isn't much people or there's no one reading it anymore. But, I seriously need a place where I can be myself, living in my world.

I feel low whenever I'm celebrating some else birthday, not in the sense that I'm jealous or what. I actually happy for them but it's that way I see people responding to my birthday. Whenever I celebrates people's birthday I will try to think of the best way to surprise him or her, to make it really memorable. (this is excluding my usual clique) Life was never fair, no matter how hard I try to make a difference in someone else life, I get nothing in return or worst ignorance. It's so sad that when I say how I wanted to celebrate with my peers because I didn't had the chance to as my birthday always clashes with the school exams but no one cares. Am I that insignificant? No one gives me a surprise or present unless I asked for it, oh well. This is my life.

This is just some random ranting I had over the years, maybe I care of too many of things people wouldn't take note of or I'm being sensitive. But truthfully, I'm affected of being insignificant to others. So much for always being a lonely girl.

I'll try to be more positive in the next post.

months

2011-08-22T18:49:00.001+08:00

It's been months since I last blogged. Today I'm blogging from my phone. Since I'm so bored I should do some updates on my blog so it's not so dead.

Well, there has been changes to me like, I'm a braces girl now. I would say when I wanted to put braces I wanted to be a cool kid, be pretty & stuff. Like seriously, who doesn't want? I'm still a normal girl that wants to look pretty after all. I put my braces last Monday. I would say the soreness I felt on my teeth. I was thinking "No, braces is not fun AT ALL" but, for the sake of being a pretty girl, I'll endure :X

Everyday passes so quickly. I don't even feel a single thing about it. It was all about go to school study go home eat sleep. What's more? Such a boring and dull life that I dread. However, the good thing of going to school is that I am able to interaction with people, that's the "fun" thing I think that interests me.

In a few more weeks time. Mid-course is coming, it's time to study. Not for anyone but myself, my future.

before putting braces

after - braces girl

Im back.

2011-06-23T01:04:00.001+08:00

I'm back from my 3 days 2 night trip to Macau, Shenzhen and Zhuhai. I was back on Monday. This trip is rather to fun as I had the chance to really "travel" with my Mum, just the two of us. It's definitely not an easy task especially we are 2 lady and we are travelling from one place to another. We took airplane, bus, boat, metro train isn't this quite an eye-opening to be done in just THREE DAYS time? However, seriously speaking I truly enjoy it although it was indeed very extremely tiring to keep moving and bring our luggage which is very heavy along from Macau-Zhuhai-Shenzhen-Zhuhai and finally back to Macau where we took our plane back to Singapore.

After I uploaded my pictures to Flickr I will do a post about how to plan your trip there( to the places I've mention above) if you're going on a trip by yourselves or with your friends and family. I cannot grantee it's not tiring but I will say it's worth it :)

I will try.

2011-06-16T20:44:00.000+08:00

I just changed my air-con yesterday night. the feeling was just too awesome like " MY AIR-CON IS FINALLY BACK" no words can show how elated I was yesterday night. There was this time while my air-con broke down, I got into the bus and I don't feel like alighting because it was too cooling inside but well, of course I didn't do that! Not so crazy.

4e1'10 had their gathering today because of the trip tomorrow I've missed those fun with them. I miss all of them! T.T

I tried to attempt my homework if not it will pile until it reaches my head already. Hopefully I can finish it in time. I really hope so. I want to finish them.

I still feel very insecure today. School is starting... which means RESULT. Oh my god. Save me.

Flying off early in the morning at 6am tomorrow. You'll see me soon. :)

my hair is all messed up.

Hmm.

2011-06-15T02:50:00.000+08:00

Time for a change i guess? Just did a makeover for my blog. Maybe I should be back to blogging, maybe then I can write more. Nowadays, I am speaking lesser at home. I guess that's a bad thing. This means that I am keeping things to myself. I get so sick of so many things.

I get so sick of thinking about how I had screwed my math summer test. the feeling that I screwed everything totally spoil my mood everyday. I don't understand what had happened to me. So lazy, like a pig like that. Oh well, whatever I will hope for a better day tomorrow.

Totally crap, I have to wake up early to shift my table so that the air-con people can fixed the air-con and I am right awake typing this blog post. Wish me luck, anyway I know mum will call me up. Don't feel like waking up also have to.

So it's time to sleep guys.

i wonder.

2011-06-06T01:03:00.002+08:00

Even social-networking sites like facebook and twitter bores me off at times like this. I just go to the website refresh time and again to see new updates but there's just non of the things that interests me. Maybe, that's the reason why holidays suck.

Life have been rather slacky these days. Haven't start on my homework yet and I am just resting, eating, watching television at home. First week of the holiday have passed, so fast. I feel like holiday is ending already. This is scary. I should start on my holiday homework pretty soon, leave this holiday no regret.

It's time to MUG. I'll tryyyyyyyyyyy.

Few months have passed.

2011-06-03T16:28:00.000+08:00

Woah. So long since I last blogged. There's a reason for it.
After March holiday, the intensity of the life of a junior college student went steeper and steeper, longer and longer hours spent in school. There are always extra lesson after school and stuff like that. Well, no one said junior college life is going to be a bed of rose anyway. However, that was really out of my expectation. Sleep became a luxury good, so many times when my eyes are going to close during lectures/tutorials. But I just had to hang on there, that was my choice. I totally flunked my economics with 2 U grade and my H1 general studies in chinese with one U, that's really extremely killing me. I've never expected grades like that in my life. So depressing. Other subjects are O K ~ ~ ~ ~

One thing to be happy for this June holiday is that, I'M DONE WITH MY MID-YEAR, taking the results aside! But well, this happiness aren't going to last too long because school with start in 3 weeks time. Then it's time to face reality, taking my sure going to be badly done results, time to face the music. However, it's just going to be a wake up call to start studying...

Just finished my leadership training camp on wednesday, it's interesting though. But it's definitely tiring. The seniors are really nice although they can be scary at times but well, it's understandable. Learnt quite a lot from this camp and it's indeed very beneficial.

Dada, I'm going to end soon. Since got make-up tuition at night, the though about it makes me go =.= . HANG ON THERE, FIGHTING ! :D Bye.

just a blink of an eye.

2011-03-19T02:50:00.000+08:00

OH, 2 more days to the end of my March Holiday. That's very very very fast... Monday to Wednesday I was at Kahang Organic Rice Eco Farm in Malaysia having my JC1 outdoor adventure camp. I normally feel very sentimental especially on the last day of camp, but I didn't feel that for this camp. Maybe, I just miss home too badly (really?!) and I really wanted to take this March holiday to recharge myself and prepare for the upcoming challenges in school but well, 3 days in camp what I've left with is 4 days to do my homework.

However, this camp is like the most kampong-like one. We have to step in mud, you can see buffalo in the paddy field and stuffs. Though this camp is tiring, but all the activities we do we do it for a reason, be it to emphasis how habits of mind can be used or the national education messages that were "themed" for the camp can be used in our studies and daily life. I believe I'll be able to use it more closely to my studies and life with those life experience I had in the camp and it doesn't seems so hard to relate anymore.

Thursday instead of doing my homework, I went out with the CHANS :D We went for lunch then board game session followed by dinner with Yushan and Cindy at PastaMania. It was fun though. That sets me thinking, do we really need computer/internet to feel happy? Because I felt simple happiness through playing board games with my friends and it's good to distress :) But time flies whenever I'm with them...

School term is going to start soon... Project work is coming. Gambatte!

& yes, let's all pray for Japan. I was watching the donation show by the Taiwan artistes. JAPAN GAMBATTE!

PS; maybe it's too late now, my brain aren't functioning very well. The sentences seems to be structured in a very weird matter & my english is like GG.com! Forget it, it's time to sleep.

no title.

2011-03-10T18:34:00.001+08:00

Life is bad now. Got this feeling that I'll screwed up my chemistry and economics tests. Chemistry, I really couldn't understand while economics was purely lack of time management.

I miss 3e1'09 & 4e1'10. You guys were just too awesome. I miss those classroom lessons with all of you. Things are just very different now.

I was thinking, is it wrong to be frank? I really meant frank. Not that kind of superficial frank, might as well don't say. When I ask whether I need to say my true opinion I really meant it. I just wanted to state my opinion, if you don't agree with it then take it as I never say.

This is me, I don't live to say nice words that everybody agrees. I have my own opinions and point of view, if you don't agree I'm perfectly fine.

I bet what I said today people will be thinking "You're such a bitch". I don't really mind that cause I respect you, you've your opinion.

It's not that I can't stand noisiest, don't misinterpret my words.

Ps: tired of all this things. I need some peace. Please.

you know what?

2011-02-26T00:41:00.000+08:00

You know what?

Every now and then, in school when the Yushan, ChiJu, Peggy and me starts talking about math, we'll talk about Mdm Loh, confirm + guarantee. We'll talk about how much we miss her lesson and her teaching. The way my tutor teach, I feel my math confirm cannot make it already I don't think I understand anything. We will start discussing what she said before like Peggy was thinking how Mdm Loh uses the word "imagination" during lesson. Haha.

Seriously, to many of us Mdm Loh isn't just our math teacher but a life teacher. She taught us many things which we will remember for life. I'm really fortunate to be once her student.

SO LONG.

2011-02-26T00:04:00.000+08:00

SO LONG SINCE I LAST POST. School having been tiring now. I have 2 days that ends at 5 excluding CCA day. Every morning, I can't wait to get on the bus and start sleeping so fail can. Homeworks having been piling up, definitely not a good thing for me. I'm having problem doing those questions especially those chemistry ones. I feel I've forget at least half of what I learnt already, that's very bad. It's time to chase back. Have to no matter what.

I have to stay in line with my dreams and not drift away from it, it's important.

What's easy wouldn't have been hard, it's always there for a reason. It might be there to challenge us and turn us into a better person, take those challenges in life positively and you'll learn lesson from it making ourselves a better person. I should act with what I've just typed. There are many things that are happening which are pulling me really down like the mathematics formative assessment I previously did, it was a simple question testing on system of linear equation and similar to an example I tried before, however, I couldn't get it during the test. I was utterly disappointed in myself, for it's really very simple and there's no reason for me to not able to do it. Maybe, another reason was that I was too complacent, I felt that I have already got it and didn't practice the day before the test, well I have to know that A' level way of studying is different ( MANRU remember that! )

Missing the awesome people in 4E1'10. Not very used to my Civics Group they are very different in the way that I can't explain... but you see, we'll be together for 2 years things must be different don't make assumption first, things might turn out differently. Things changes, rapidly.

assembly.

2011-02-10T14:46:00.001+08:00

Well, my appeal failed. Sticking to the choice I've made. Working towards my goal, going to get into a local university.

This week I have a temporarily timetable, waiting for CG to come out tomorrow. Having only lectures everyday, no tutorial. But well, at least I'm with all my tpss-mates for lectures and we go home together everyday, not so lonely :) it's cool and fun too :)

I was down with fever yesterday night, contemplating whether should I go to school today but my answer was "NO WAY" can't effort to miss my mathematics and chemistry lectures. Came to school today still, but flu was bad and I think I really interrupted others, so sorry about that :X

I WANT TO RECOVER ASAP!

If I dont blog during asse

YEA~

2011-02-01T21:30:00.001+08:00

So long since I last post, I said I wanted to post everyday, but you know when school ends at 5 or 6pm and I need 1 hour to travel, the only thought I have when I reach home is to bath and rest, I'll do nothing except watching television :P

Today was day 4 of my orientation. I should say, today is the best day. Just finished my campfire. Omg, I swear Aquila is awesome to the max! The performance and everything :D but well, awesome house is led by awesome HGL. Let's hope we'll keep Aquila's spirit going and do the house proud. " Why are we so pro~ ! " (Y)

Alighting bus soon, shall talk more in the next post :)

Life back on track.

2011-01-21T15:05:00.000+08:00

So I ended my work yesterday. Have to prepare myself in terms of mental and physical to be ready to go back to school, back to the study life. Yes, life would be ten times tougher when junior college starts.I'm worrying now, but since I made my choice, I'll go for it. I have persevere till the end. I believe I'll make it there eventually.

But the thought that I'll go to a new school with those unfamiliar faces totally freak me out. I'll miss my classmates and schoolmates. Have to adapt to a new environment D:

I so used to typing on my iphone, now typing my blog post using my keyboard feels weird and different. Haha.

Hmmm, last day at work yesterday. Felt a bit sad as I'm leaving those awesome, friendly and pretty colleagues. I'll miss them definitely. When I'm working, I feel time passes so slowly especially at times when there's no customer to serve and I just stand there looking blankly or chat with the other sales assistants to let time passes. Like now, doing nothing at home just watching television time seems to fly pass and I haven't do a single thing. Well, I don't understand about this time theory thing, it doesn't make sense. Fine, I totally feel I'm crapping now. Lol. Anyway, thank you younghearts <3 My first job ended :)

Working taught me that working life is tough, just study as much as I can. Cherish those study times, but gosh I'm seventeen already not much time left to study T.T

haha. time to stop writing. shall post maybe the next few days. When school starts I may be posting everyday, I shall see how it goes :)

well well well.

2011-01-15T00:55:00.001+08:00

After ranting so much about Os, I need to update my result right, it's only fair for it to be this way. Haha.

So, I scored 17 for r5, r4 12 and for polytechnic courses (all different courses, same score) 14. I was feeling contented with my results at first, until I see other people's results. Oh, I did quite badly. But for the effort I put in, I couldn't have expected too much. like it wouldn't have been fair to those really who put in so much effort to study for it and for someone like me just anyhow and do well. Remember: you reap what you sow. Well, I not too sad. At least for amath, physics and Chinese I did better than what I've expected myself to score. Cheers.

I don't want to put what school I put for first choice for JAE but I certainly know I 99% wouldn't get in and I'm not putting too much faith in it. Like how I disappoint myself when I couldn't get into coral secondary and went to tampines secondary instead. Although tampines was a much better choice for me when I was looking back, how sad I got when I receive my posting result. Tampines secondary is definitely an awesome school with extremely awesome teachers!

Days before I got my Os result, I was telling my mum I will definitely do very badly and so on and she was like never mind you can try to take up accountancy in polytechnic. Now I get a grade that can enter junior college she say, oh you must enter junior college. Oh my, such a great change. Haha. To let me enter university is my mum dream and now, also mine. Hopefully I wouldn't fail her and make her proud of me.

I'll work hard.
I'll prove myself.

It's time to sleep. Good night :)

so many days have passed.

2011-01-10T11:42:00.001+08:00

Nothing much have happened for the past 9 days other than the awesome BBQ yesterday.

At least after I get home from the class BBQ I was dead beat and stopped thinking about my going to be pathetic results.

Mr Kenny Tan and Mr Goh Ter Yang were there with us. Jody water bombed them and the many others, hopefully they don't take it to heart - for fun purpose only.

So the tormenting process of the whole process of O level will be over soon, in a few hours time. I'll get my result and that's the end. I'll just have to hang on for the few hours more, everything will 尘埃落定 already. I've to stay calm and cool please. I've to do so.

31st 2010.

2010-12-31T01:06:00.001+08:00

Last day of 2010.

Time flies, I was dreading for the start of 2010 for it's an O level year for me. Now, it's already coming to an end. Too many things have happened, have passed. Things came and go.

Hmmm, I shall thank everyone I want to thank today.

Mum; thanks for being there for me, supporting my decision. You're always scared by the words I said like " I think the paper is easy, but I'll fail ". Sorry, although my aim is to make you proud for Os by it seems unreachable now, I'm sure I'll do it in the near future, you just wait. I'll do it, definitely.

Iris; thank you for being there to encourage me when I'm down, helping me with my math. You're a great friend I've made in tampines secondary and also in my life. We've been through many things, may our friendship last forever. Thanks my best friend, you will do well for Os. I'm confident for that.

Yushan; you're always there when I needed someone to su ku, though sometimes you're also very troubled but whenever I needed you, you'll be there. Thank you so much.

Cindy&lixin; always so calm and never worry about much things. Just like the time when I talk to you guys, you guys will empathies with me, understand me.

Ms idzhana: you're such an encouraging teacher, always telling me not to give up, I'll make it. Thank you so much.

Ms lee; thank you for that encouraging message you sent me, telling me not to give up. That really pull my already low morale up to prepare for Os.

Mdm loh; thank you for your patient in helping me with my math questions. I really like the 2 bookmarks you gave us though I lost the first one which i like a lot. Thank you for those encouraging words you wrote on the bookmark and those words you said to me, it meant so much to me.

Last year in tampines secondary, I wish it was longer. Those special moments spent in class is so memorableeeeeeeee. Backtrack pleaseeeee!

Thank you all my teachers and friends for everything. Without you guys, I don't think I would have made it here, this far.

This year is ending, be it 2010 being a good or bad year for you, it's really ending. It will not come back anymore, cherish these last moment of 2010 with someone you want to be with.

May 2011 be a peaceful year, everyone stays happy. Smile not matter what happens.

-Manru 31st dec 2010-

did you?

2010-12-23T22:18:00.001+08:00

Stupid application shut down so many times, I type my post so many times already :(

Did you eat rice dumplings (汤圆) yesterday? I made it myself and the soup aided by my mum to enhance the taste :) it was a nice experience though because most of the time I'm eating the rice dumplings prepared by my mum. Hehe. Well, after eating the rice dumplings we're a year older already.

Yesterday was my off day and my mum had her leave. Went to service her phone, oh my god motorola phone not good, less than a year her phone spoil already. After sending in for service went to find food to eat. It's always so relaxing whenever I'm with mum :)

Today went to Singapore expo to set up the wagon for metro sales. It's from 25december to 2january. If you're free, you can go see see window-shopping also good to kill your day :)

Public holiday when be spent on work D: so sian can. Endure girl, it's coming to an end soon.

hmmm.

2010-12-20T20:42:00.001+08:00

I just finished work, on the way home. My relative were saying that my job is like letting me tour around Singapore. Well, maybe. I worked in Bugis, today marine parade then marina square then expo. Ah, so crazy. That also show how many outlets my company have.

I'm thinking whether I want to continue my work. I also don't know, the job is ok. Talking with different people, expanding my social circle. It's a good thing. Let's see how but I'm not working on sunday anymore! I need time with my mum! :(

When are we taking our result? I'm really damn scare now. I kept having this feeling that I'll flunk my Os. Really... I have no confident at all. Oh crap, I shall stop this topic, later I can't sleep tonight, again.

You know what's good about doing sales? I kept my mouth shut at home most of the time, I'm just so tired of talking.

I don't like my schedule this week, like crap can.

wonder.

2010-12-17T11:36:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was a nice day out with Cindy and Yushan. We had lunch then went to Nike to stalk Kiahui. Haha. So funny. I suggest to go to the converse warehouse sales at 27 Harrison road. Yushan and Cindy agreed then we went there without knowing the exact location. We went exploring the place, we walked for a damn long distance can. They didn't buy anything but I bought 3 shoes. LOL. A million of thanks to then for pei-ing me. So touched :)!

Oh yes KOI opened in Tampines at the Tampines HDB there, beside Tampines one. I was the first customer! Yushan second & Cindy third. Haha. That made my day man!

Today is work again. Hopefully the day ends faster today :$ Yes, I said - HOPEFULLY.

so long.

2010-12-16T00:09:00.001+08:00

I didn't update my blog this 2 days. Was busy reading on the mrt this 2 days. Hmmm, what to update?

I think I'm mad these few days, I kept having the sudden urge to cry, especially when I'm thinking about my results. How pathetic it may be. Gosh, I'm dead, very, extremely.

This few days the main salesperson from my branch had off-day so I had to cover her. Damn, it freaking busy can, especially it's at Bugis BHG. Tampines still manageable because not so many people but Bugis is like so many. When the crowd comes, I do look like some mad person.

Hopes my work ends soon, cause my energy decreasing day by day. On a happier note, tomorrow is my off day :) meeting up with Yushan and Cindy at Cafe Cartel. Finally get to relax, although it's just for one day but better than none. Be contented girl.

goodbye the saddest word.

2010-12-13T11:38:00.001+08:00

I heard that song sang by Celine Dion while watching the Taiwan variety show - 超级星光大道. It was sang by Erika to say how much she missed her mum as this was the longest time she had left her mum. She was from America joining the competition in Taiwan. The way she sang the song and the lyrics made me can't help but tears just dropped. Maybe, we have to learn to tell our parents how much we loved them.

CELINE DION LYRICS
"Goodbye's (The Saddest Word)"

Mamma
You gave life to me
Turned a baby into a lady

Mamma
All you had to offer
Was the promise of a lifetime of love

Now I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child

And I know
A love so complete
Someday must leave
Must say goodbye

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

Mamma
You gave love to me
Turned a young one into a woman

Mamma
All I ever needed
Was a guarantee of you loving me

'Cause I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child

And it hurts so
That something so strong
Someday will be gone, must say goodbye

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

But the love you gave me will always live
You'll always be there every time I fall
You are to me the greatest love of all
You take my weakness and you make me strong
And I will always love you 'til forever comes

And when you need me
I'll be there for you always
I'll be there your whole life through
I'll be there this I promise you, Mamma

Mamma, I'll be
I'll be your beacon through the darkest nights
I'll be the wings that guide your broken flight
I'll be your shelter through the raging storm
And I will love you 'till forever comes

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

'Till we meet again...
Until then...
Goodbye

Thanks mum, I love you.

it's lol.

2010-12-12T11:26:00.001+08:00

I was tired yesterday but don't know why I can't fall asleep. When I fall asleep then I dreamt that I had to pluck my teeth for braces, eeewww it feels so painful even when I'm asleep :(

I realised after I started working my mum is more like a mum. LOL. how do I say that? My mum visit me at work when she doesn't even visit me in school. Haha. Had lunch with her yesterday, the noodle from QQ noodle at Bugis street is awesome man :) with that, it's a good thing that I'm working. Hehe.

I think I get contented by food nowadays as after a long day of work, that's the only thing that can make me happy :)

Need to help mum change her casual wear later, hopefully nothing goes wrong :$

dead.

2010-12-11T11:26:00.001+08:00

Oh my god, I damn blur can.. I'm supposed to work in OG today, they need the pass to get in and I forget to bring, it's all in the pants I wore yesterday. I hope I can get another one, if not how I work today.. T.T thinking about it I damn sian now.

What's wrong with me? I had enough sleep..

Hopefully things will be alright later...

almost.

2010-12-10T12:54:00.001+08:00

I almost had insomnia yesterday night while thinking about my Os result. Seriously, I think it would be screwed, really. I don't know, but thinking about my amath the only thought I had was, goner. If I'm going think about that every night, I think I'll be getting crazy soon, very soon.

Well, on a lighter note, at least while I'm at work, I will forget about Os and just do my sales. I'll just smile like a retard and talk, wish hopefully the person buys. Like that I'm happy already. Chatting with the aunties there, I'm contented. I would rather be doing this than staring into blank space at home scaring myself while thinking about my pathetic Os result.

I said this on twitter, I screw my Os then my later life will also be screwed. I think it's 80% screwed now, maybe as it gets closer to result day the percentage will increase gradually.

Ok I shall stop now. I know you're enough of my crapping. Aljunied station.

boring day.

2010-12-08T22:00:00.001+08:00

I was working in OG today. Well, I've met nice colleagues again, so happy :)

It's kind of boring at OG, not so many people. Nothing much to do is boring and it hurts my leg, cause I'm not moving much.

Didn't meet weird customer today, they were quite alright. I'm so lucky to serve one last customer buying the pajamas :) I'm contented for today.

Oh ya, mum specially come and visit me today. Hehe :)

Tomorrow, tampines bhg.

as usual.

2010-12-08T01:35:00.001+08:00

I think I lost my passion to blog everyday or you should say, things that are happening in my life are repeating everyday. Wake up, work, lunch, go home, watch television, bathe, sleep. Standard.

Met so many different customers everyday. There are weird ones and nice ones, of course. Every things is double-sided.

Today or to be exact yesterday, tuesday is my off-day. Met up with Yushan for lunch at manpuku and walked at the various shopping centre in tampines because the both of us were too bored. It was fun. I didn't realise I actually miss my friends so much until I got to meet up with her and chatted like always. I miss those after school days lunch, chatting session. The both of us miss school days and our teachers, definitely. We were talking how slowly time passes now as compared to those time we spent preparing for Os just passes too quickly until we didn't even get to realise.

I miss those classroom lessons, my classmates and teachers. Fancy getting nostalgic at this time... Reminiscing in process.

I'll try to blog everyday, maybe while I'm on the train. Stay tuned.

Time for some updates

2010-12-03T23:46:00.001+08:00

Hey people. Some time since my last update. I'm tired everyday after I started working. I'm working at Young Hearts @ Bugis. It's fun but tiring. You can try standing for 7hours a day, no joke. When I get to sit down during my lunch hour, I didn't want to stand up. HAHA. At least when I'm working I won't be thinking about my results, I'm very sacred, extremely insecure. I just didn't have enough faith for myself.

But working as sales person is a good thing, I learn to be thick-skinned and give myself more confident to talk to people, especially the general public.

While I am working, I see so many funny things happening, like:
Boy: "standing at the bra section looking"
His mum: "looking at the bras"
Boy: mum, is this for girl? Can I have one ?
His mum: no you can't.

isn't this funny? LOL!

Oh yeah, young hearts have christmas fair at Bugis tomorrow, you come go there look look if you're around there :)

My blog's dead?

2010-11-27T01:29:00.000+08:00

So long since my last update & I hadn't talk about my trip to Guangzhou, Zhuhai and Macau shall do it some other time, absolutely not now. I'm getting lazy nowadays. Very extremely lazy. I wake up, switch on my television and I can lie there for at least half the day. That's bad man, I believe that's also the reason why I grew fatter. I look so ugly. The story of me growing fat can really get very long cause I'm really very affected for the fact that I grew fatter, I also don't understand why D: Whatever, let's stop talking about this.

So there's prom night this week, on Tuesday. It was an awesome night. The night that I had always looked forward to, it came and pass in a blink of an eye. I wanted to take more pictures with the other teachers but they went off so fast, only managed to take with Mdm Loh. Like what was said during the prom night, it's going to be the last night we will spend together with our friends, classmates lucky it didn't get too sentimental. Except for the video part, it was a great job done by Mr Sufian and the teachers who said those words to us. Like what I saw on twitter, Secondary School Life will definitely be the best part of my life. Too much memories, impossible to put them all into words. My facebook status for that day was "Awesome prom night with awesome people in Tampines Secondary. I'll remember the moment we spend together forever. No goodbye for it's just the new beginning :) See yea soon :) !" It was indeed very awesome, a night I'll never forget, for life.

Found my job, start work on the first december. If you see me, take it that you didn't I will be shy D: HAHA. Talk more soon.

Delayed.

2010-11-20T20:31:00.001+08:00

There's too much to say about my trip to Macau. Its definitely not just a trip but a life learning journey. Shall update after I get back to singapore.

I'm at Macau airport now, the plane is delayed for 3 hours. Haiz, but the weather here is awesome man. Not too cold nor it's too hot :) !

Bye

2010-11-14T22:16:00.001+08:00

Bye Singapore, I'll on the airplane already. See yea on the 20th :) take care people, don't miss me! I will blog when I can, hopefully stay tune.

Time for a break.

2010-11-14T17:13:00.001+08:00

Hey people. Have been sleeping so late nowadays, it's bad for health I know. I feel so bored now, I feel lost. Everything is different, i have no aim. Just nice these few days is weekend so Mum is around. We joke and laugh, which stopped me from thinking about my results. Tonight night I'll be flying to macau with 3yi and her husband, 8yi and her family and mum's friend auntie wendy and her daughter. I will be able to stop myself from thinking too much and relax. Once I come back to Singapore i think I will become a mad person, really mad :(

The class will be taking their Biology paper one tomorrow, I really wish them all the best. They will do well, I 've faith in them. So fast, secondary life is coming to an end. I will miss all the time I had with my friends and especially my classmates, the awesome-st lot. People who don't really know ask say " People in 4E1 are nerds, always study" I bet they just didn't know about our class. They should know, we aren't nerd & we have a life, we know how to have one. I glad to meet everyone in 3e1'09 & 4e1'10, grumbling about homework and things is our bad habit but when we have it and it's important we will definitely do it. We are people who are realistic, we know what we want and we do what we have to get it done. You can say that we're too realistic but isn't life realistic too? We just learn it early. I don't regret doing those stuffs for the class, some people may say " hey, you're wasting your time" but it doesn't matter to me, so as I find it meaningful. Thank you 3e1'09 & 4e1'10, though we're parting to move on to the next part of our life, let the moments we have together serve as memories that you can reminisce and miss. Moving on.

sorry class, the pictures which I have owe the class can only be uploaded after I get back which is on the 20th. I don't understand why I can't upload now. really sorry D:

I shall continue packing then.

confession time

2010-11-13T03:26:00.001+08:00

Sorry guys, my confession came one day later. i was busying doing some lame things I bought from ikea. The first thing i have to say is O LEVEL IS OVER. HURRAY! A blink of an eye 3 weeks passed, too fast.

Thinking what had happened over the three weeks,
I was seriously damn happy when I saw internet as one of the topics for paper 1 but I have a super duper poor time management so my paper seems screwed. I'm scared cause I know I can't effort to fail english. I CANT I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE because I know where I want to go. Paper 2 summary totally killed me.
Emath, I told myself to chill and calm down for the paper I think both papers was fine but both papers I checked my answer as I was too tempted when people post the solution I hope I can get an A-1 but I'm afraid of putting too much hope then I'll end up getting so disappointed.
Talking about amath, kill me. My mum until now still can't stop telling people I put too much effort for my amath and neglected my other subjects. she doesn't understand my passion for that particular subject and the high hope I set to get an A but I ended up getting disappointed and questioned my own ability. Well, like what I said before many time effort =/= result so I didn't wanted to put in effort. You may say I'm giving excuses or it may be an excuse but I personally don't like to experience failure and that was why i lost my fighting spirit after I got into the class.But yeah, for me paper 1 was fine definitely not paper 2. What I can't forgive myself was my careless mistakes, too many, maybe uncountable. Since it's confession time, then I should seriously blame myself for not practicing enough questions for amath paper 2, if i did, things wouldn't have been that bad. BLAME YOURSELF!
Chemistry paper was fine, like what my mum say, you've 2 papers on the same day then most likely you'll take a gamble. I supposed I took it, I know I'll definitely pay that price in the extent of my result for amath and my tears.
Physics. Oh well, I'm expecting for a pass. The paper is so not manageable. I don't really get what the questions are trying to ask. Goner
Chinese. Great, too long never write an essay already. I'm seriously very rusty. spent too much time on situational writing and my essay is screwed up in my point of view. I hope I didn't write out of point. If I did, I wasted my time for the second chance to sit for the paper and I can imagine my mum being sarcastic of my chinese grade for life, gosh it's horrifying D;

I don't know why I feel I didn't really work very hard for my Os as compared to my peers, I certainly can imagine how bad my results will be. When there's not enough effort in direct proportion there weren't be result, there's no free lunch in the world. This time I'll learn it hard, Very hard. The fall will be very painful, but I'll learn.

To be able to come until here, I'm really thankful to all my teachers that had taught or I had came into with especially:
Mrs Chng. I can still remember she first took me english and she failed me. That really motivate me to put more effort in my English. She's a very caring and motherly teacher, she's there to listen to us and give us her personal opinion.
Ms Idzhana. My first impression of her was a very fierce teacher but I changed my view when she started teaching my class this year. Her lesson is never a typical boring and dull english lesson. She tries her best to provide us with details and picture for the lesson, it was really helpful especially to me. She may seems to be a demanding teacher giving her vocabulary and spelling test but that really helps weaker students like me a lot. Like the word "myriad".
Mdm Loh. I think "n" times of thank you also not enough. She's really an awesome math teacher. I'm really very grateful to have her as my math teacher. Thank you for entertaining to so many of my dumb and nonsensical questions.lol. Her math lesson is something I definitely miss after I leave the school. I have too many words to say and it's really difficult to type everything down cause it's a bit, too much.
Ms Koh.I think when I thank Ms Koh many people will call me a sycophant. However, I feel that she's a good teacher. Just that she's not a typical teacher that will always say "oh, you can do it." to every student but she uses her own way to make students to work hard, whether or not her method suits you then that's our individual problem.

Thank you all teachers I know, without your encouragement and guidance I wouldn't have made it this far. Thank You very much.

Every encounter in life is enriching.
Meeting all the teachers and friends in TPSS, is really an awesome one.

Yesterday was the last paper I took with the class. The next time I'll see them will either be on prom night or bbq(provided I can make it). Take care people, you guys will definitely do well! :)

-the later I stay awake, the more energetic I am. :(

O's ended.

Check it out yo!

2010-11-11T15:04:00.001+08:00

Yo people, when was my last update? Ok, I forgot. Should be quite some time ago. Today is my second last paper already, after 9am tomorrow I will remember how to spell H A P P I N E S S with joy :) I'm looking forward to that.

Before Os started I felt as though Os is should a big giant that kills me with one step, so traumatizing. Now that it's coming to an end, I definitely will miss that feeling, that atmosphere and everything other things. Well, I will do a proper confession for Os after I get home from my last paper, too many confessions to make to myself.

I heard something very motivating to me "everything events that happen in life is rewarding"

Last paper in less than 24hours time.
I have to contain myself said by Iris. HAHA.

Social studies.

2010-11-09T00:28:00.001+08:00

Thank you Cambridge for being so kind this year. VENICE FOR THE WIN! However, 两全很难奇美. They were nice for SEQ they balanced it with a fairly challenging SBQ. I should say it's enough to kill me. I seriously wanted a decent grade for my combined humanities or should I say, I really need it. But it's time to cast everything aside cause it's MOTHER TONGUE on wednesday, NO A I CAN SERIOUSLY KILL MYSELF, really. No A1 I'll be nagged by mum for the rest of my life. BUT, I haven't been writing in Chinese for a very extremely long time. Time to write some Chinese characters tomorrow or in the morning since it's "tomorrow" already. I always blog at this time. Lol.

Looking forward to my trip [Macau+Zhuhai+Guangzhou]. It's all planned by my mum and going with family, it's gonna be fun, hopefully cause it's a totally self-plan tour. LOL.

4 more papers, I'm going to receive my long awaited freedom with open arms :) ! Friday will be the last time I suppose I'm going to wear the school uniform, sadden.

" I'm not studying... "

2010-11-07T01:05:00.001+08:00

I haven't started studying for social studies yet. Went shopping with my on Friday, went to 8yi's mini farm on punggol and barbecue at 5yi's house today or to be exact it's yesterday. The tension I had was release and everything will be over soon. I just need one more week, just 5 more days to freedom!

I was putting my book onto the shelf on my table and saw the thank you bookmark Mdm Loh gave for her celebration I stick it there to motivate myself and prevent myself from losing it D: . Then I was thinking about the first bookmark Mdm Loh gave us at the start of the year. I lost it during english remedial when we were in the old school but couldn't find it. Well, that was my greatest regret. I hope I could have gotten it back. Everything means a lot to me.

Oh man, being nostalgic at this kind of time... Shall do one practice before I sleep, compensate a little bit.

It's just...

2010-11-04T17:29:00.001+08:00

A sense of achievement! :D

Ok. I'm super happy now. After making almost 400++ votes, Mdm Loh is back to the first. Must maintain that, must must must. Mdm Loh will win, yes she will :D!

I seriously don't understand why I've so much determination, I really don't know but I don't really care. What's more important is I did it, like finally.

Went for social studies remedial today. I'm a bad student today, but I don't care cause it's like for once and for the last time. It's fun though :)

I feel like sleeping now, should I?

Too much.

2010-11-03T14:22:00.000+08:00

I was thinking of many things today. Things are happening so fast that I hadn't had a chance to really ponder.

One more week and I'm done with 'O', I'm not really very happy as that would mean I'll be parting with my classmates and friends. We'll be moving in different direction, some may be the same, some may not. The time we had together, be it happy or sad, will be memories we will remember for life. Many teachers say that you will find your best friend in secondary friends in secondary, I definitely agree with that. I really hate to leave them, but we don't have a choice, it's time to move on.

I was reminiscing what happened during these four years.

There's just many memories and I can't bear to leave. Too many things that i thought was impossible was made possible in this school, I think no amount of thank you can show my gratitude.

Yesterday while eating with the group of girls from my class, we were talking about the changes in subject teachers we had in our class while the only teacher that remained the same for the 2 years is Mdm Loh. We have change 2 teachers for mother tongue (both malay&chinese), English 4, Physics to be exact 3, Chemistry to be exact 3, Biology 2, Social studies 3 and Geography 2. Look at the changes I believe people in my class really work very hard reach the mark. Our class is isn't a typical "nerdy" class where we only study and do nothing else. We really know when to have fun. So I was telling my friend that since math is the only subject where we don't experience any changes of teacher we should perform the best for it, isn't it? She agreed with me. However, looking from how badly we screwed our paper, I think we've thrown all the effort Mdm Loh spent on us into the drain, it's utter disappointment. I feel that no amount of sorry is able to express the sorry I wanted to say. The "best" thing is that we've to receive our results from Mdm Loh isn't it? D:

I was talking to Xinjing then I know that we had the same ambition. She wanted to be a math teacher as she was inspired by the math teachers in our school like Mdm Loh and the other teachers. She also wanted to teach in this school like me. Then we will be able to "pay back" the school for what it had given us for that brilliant 4 years. That was what I aimed, but judging for the math results I will get, especially my amath I can forget about it. It'll just be a dream I can't reach, maybe in my dream while I am asleep.

I was busy voting for Mdm Loh yesterday. http://talkback.stomp.com.sg/forums/showthread.php?t=109962 Even my mum supports what I'm doing, she was as worried as I am when I am not able to make any vote on Saturday when the closing date was reaching. She even volunteered to help out but there was something wrong with the stomp system :D I'm always happy to have a mummy who's always so supportive of what I do. The best joke yesterday was that she said: "you should go tell mdm loh to spam some votes for herself ma." I was seriously like LOL! Haha. Hopefully with Brandon voting after Biology paper we will be able to win the ITE west female teacher. But I always felt that the star teacher award shouldn't be just one female and male teacher it should be the top 2 teachers who have the highest vote should win that's more fair. hmmm. Brandon says he wants to attend the prize presentation for the Star Teacher Award if there's any, I also WANT! :D It's going to be fun :)

Only when I'm busying doing something else then I'm able to stop thinking of things that happened during the exams. It's scary D:

NO.

2010-10-31T23:16:00.001+08:00

I was clearing my table and putting my maths and English stuffs aside. I look at my math files worksheets, everything ended so quickly. I haven't prepared to say good bye to them and everything ended. I know why I have such strong feeling about math, actually you can't help it. Math lesson is the lesson we have like at least 4 days a week. Which means we spend at least half a year having math lesson, doing math worksheet. But all your hard work is just for that week, and shoo everything ended, especially for me ended too ugly. This wasn't an ending I would have expected, not at all.

I went to clear my bag just now, saw my amath paper 2. Suddenly my mood went super down, I started getting paranoid, what happened during the exam went repeating again and again in my brain. It seems like a living "day-mare". I wonder when will that end, maybe when I take my results next year. The tormenting months ahead, I don't really look forward to.

The confident I had varnished into thin air.

I understand why I had those weird behavior at home just now, I think I just wanted myself to stop thinking about those unhappy things that happened but those scene are replaying non-stop in my brain. Laugh was just a cover. Why did I return to this state again? I didn't want to, really.

I wanted to..

2010-10-30T00:29:00.000+08:00

Actually I wanted to this yesterday(which is a few hours before) but I was busy doing something more important, people around me should know what I am busy doing. It's not suppose to let the whole world know, so yeah.

Well, look at how well I screwed my Amath today, the effort I put in all thrown into the drain. Mistakes here, mistakes there mistakes everywhere. It's damn freaking crappy can.I'm supper disappointed with myself, no words can express that disappointment. Amath, the subject I liked the most and I ended up screwing the paper. I almost cry after the invigilator collect my paper. I really feel like killing myself, there were errors that are avoidable but I still made it, what can I say? I feel like throwing myself in the dust-bin now. Maybe even the dust-bin is better than me, I'm worse than a trash.

Negative thoughts are over-flowing in my brain, I can't stop it. No one would understand you pain, except yourself. Unless you choose to walk out by yourself, no one could help you.

i want to talk to someone, but i know this is not the time. everyone is busy settling their own problems.

I really hope everything will be fine...
Everything will be over soon.

So...

2010-10-28T11:46:00.001+08:00

Since i am always busy studying at night I shall post in the morning then.

I check out my answer with the answer on mathbookguide. Well, I realize I screwed the whole question on number patterns. The marker can happily just draw a big cross on my paper. Lol. And my answer for 2 question for probability is wrong. D:

Check out paper 2 also, I should say I'm happy with the results. Because of screwing paper 1 I'm not really confident of getting my a1. But well, I did my best I'm leaving the rest to fate. 无愧于心

I think I'm ready for amath paper 1 later. I need to focus, concentrate, read the question carefully, double check that I didn't write the numbers wrongly and be super duper CAREFUL. 步步为营。I sound as though I'm going for war, well i feel like it is and after the exam I felt as though I conquered a new state :) LOL :D all the best.

I'm super sleepy now. I feel like taking nap NOW! D;

Oh, I forgot.

2010-10-28T00:10:00.001+08:00

I forget to blog yesterday, I shall write a short post before I sleep.

Emath paper 2 was ok, I would say there's so going to have moderation. I hope i can meet the mark. Not to lie to myself, I want an A1 or I need this A1 for my l1r5, no joke. Hope everything goes well.

Amath tomorrow. I will give my best shot, I want a distinction.

Shall do a proper update tomorrow :)

Don't be too happy, yet.

2010-10-26T19:09:00.001+08:00

Today is emath paper 1, everything is quite alright. Thank goodness for my double checking I found 2 mistakes that worth 2 marks each. Hopefully I'll do well! Im scare of moderation cause this paper is quite manageable, but well I shouldn't worry so much. just do my best, I'll get what I'm supposed to get, don't worry be happy :)

I realized not much things is tested today, tomorrow may be tough war, I must fight it through!

Nothing much happen today... But this is IMPORTANT! I must say for the n number of time, please vote for Mdm Loh for the Star Teacher Award for stomp @ www.stomp.com.sg :D! (Y)

One subject down!

2010-10-25T23:43:00.001+08:00

This feeling is great, I felt as though this is the last paper. Haha. Today is ok, not too bad. At least I'm quite confident that I wouldn't fail my English. LOL. If i fail then I would have wasted ms Idzhana's effort. I hope the upcoming papers will be fine too.

My mum tell me to throw what happened today away and move on for the paper tomorrow, it's a bit difficult. I hope I will after my sleep, actually I have to no matter what.

I told my mum not to be surprised if I end up with a swollen eye tomorrow. I kept having this scene of me crying during the math because it was too hard, I imagined it countless time. I'm just afraid it will show in reality, I really hope it won't, I'll pray hard.

"Be calm, be cool, be confident and be careful" by mr wan. I think it's very relevant for me. Jiayou, have faith!

The last song.

2010-10-24T23:30:00.001+08:00

After blogging everyday for I don't know how many days to freaking rant about Os, I think it's only appropriate for me to blog today, the day before Os.

I'm scared for I know how important English is, I can't afford to screw it. The results I got for prelim don't seems to make me feel secure, not at all. Stop this thought, it's not helping at all!

Well, it's time to look forward. Everything will be alright. After that 3 weeks I'll see bright light, leaving for the overseas trip with my family, my cousins :) it's going to be cool, everything will pass in a blink of an eye, it will, only when you choose to believe and I really believe.

I'll stay strong to surpass all odds, I must.

If i didnt send you the msg cause i dont have your phone numbers and you're taking Os, thats my msg for you "My dear friends, all the best for Os tmr! Believe and have faith in yourself. I believe all of you can do it. Have ample rest and drink lots of water. take good care of yourself during this period of time. All will be over in a blink of an eye :) Jiayou! :D"

All the best!

The cut I got from the knife in the afternoon is swollen now T.T luckily its on my left finger.

Weekend = 0% efficiency

2010-10-23T18:56:00.001+08:00

I swear I hate Saturday! I haven't been studying at all today. Wake up and went to meet Brandon to pass him the answer for physics tys cause the answer that was in his tys is a topical tys one. I borrowed the guidebook from brandon. Bought food and went home. Ate my lunch and slept, I felt like a pig -.-

So, now I'm attending my mum's friend wedding dinner. Which means today i won't be studying at all. Ahhhh, shit. What's worse is that my mum don't want me to stay up overnight to study anymore, need to change my body clock to the correct time already... T.T never mind forget it, I shall wake up tomorrow morning to study then.

I like this quote I saw on the channel 8 television programme "关怀方式"
"路为人而开，人为心而开＂

一切，从 “心” 开始 (^^)

Random :)

It's a bit, too fast.

2010-10-22T18:43:00.001+08:00

I have never felt time passes that fast. 1 week study week is finishing, Monday is coming and the alarm of the 3 weeks marathon will start, everything starts falling back to place.

Went out for lunch with Yushan at around 12.30 cause a lot of the other level students were going out of school. Look at how they were talking of results, how I wished I could be one of them, it would be awesome. I had never worry that much of my results until secondary 4,before that everything was fine. I would rather like to worry of my end of year results then to be waiting to take Os, the feeling is different. 4 years of studies and 1 final showdown, it has to be pretty and a well done job, I hope I'm compatible for it or rather, I have to.

Ps: please, believe in yourself. You have to.

Are you so busy walking out of school and you didn't realized that there's this beautiful sunflower that's growing tall and high, against all odds ? :)

Is it so?

2010-10-21T20:24:00.001+08:00

Am I giving myself too much stress? Maybe. But who will be feel relax while preparing for Os with that pathetic l1r5 I got for my prelim which will get me no where. I've no one else to blame but myself, slack too much and that's why I've to work doubly hard to pay it back, it's in direct proportion. Nothing comes easy.

I've survived until now with my 3++ h of sleep last night, just can't sleep don't know why. I feel like toning tonight and not sleep, endure until tomorrow night to turn my body clock back, hmmm it seems difficult and extreme, let's see what I can do.

I'm so extremely scare. But I know no one can save me except for myself. I'll and I must hang on there till the end.

Ps: I've this weird thinking that sleeping is a waste of time O.o

I really wonder.

2010-10-20T17:38:00.001+08:00

I realise studying is such a wonderful task, only now that I realise that. It's such a sad case. I really wonder how lost I'll be after Os, the thought about it makes me feel super uneasy.

Trying to clear those math papers I have with me. Don't talk about dunman's emath paper 2 I'm still left with 2 more that was given before prelim. I'll clear it by today, hopefully. It shouldn't be a big problem cause it's amath paper, i just have to twist and turn my brain :) haha. Seriously, I prefer to do other schools' paper than TYS. As it's seems like a road without destination. Moreover, when I do the papers there's a standard number of questions when I finish I feel a sense of achievement :) So yeah, I was thinking whether to take more papers, maybe not I'll just try to redo some of the papers and make sure I know what I'm supposed to know, I think that's better, right? I hope so.

Last official lesson with the class, behind a goodbye is a hello said by Mr Wan quite true, I shall take it positively. Also like what Iris said, " Reality is cruel, yet meaningful. " So, smile guys :D

Ps: million thanks to my awesome friend Yushan & Iris for the help in Starbuck :)!

So it T U E S D A Y !

2010-10-19T19:33:00.001+08:00

Stop counting down to Os cause it sucks. Make me panic only. I was busyng cleaning the house today. LOL, I bet you guys must be think this is not the time but when my mind got that strong urge to start I can't stop :D I feel happy when the house is clean though. It's a form of achievement :)

Wanted to do emath is the morning but I look at both the paper 2 I have it's like so hard. Tried doing and got depressed. I never feel that when I'm doing amath, no matter how hard the question is but when it comes to emath, I just can't handle. omg, this is bad. Never mind I shall try to do emath later. I WILL TRY MY BEST T.T!

I bet everyone chiong like mad to vote for Mdm Loh. When I opened my browser in the morning to check the vote I see the number and got a shock and now even better, last check already have 86 votes! :D let's jiayou and chiong the vote as much as we can but yeah don't forget to study at the same time :) I know we can multi-task well :P hehe.

So, thats the reason why.

2010-10-18T16:04:00.001+08:00

While sitting outside of the reflection room doing math, I heard primary school kids playing games and the lower sec who were playing catching they shouting so happily. If I knew preparing for Os would be so hard, I would have play harder while I'm in lower sec and primary school. Those times were awesome.

Ok fine whatever. So I was doing my math, not that successful but it was acceptable, at least I did something. By the way, I realized it was super hard to do math in the afternoon, i get so super restless. That was also why I returned home. This is bad bad bad.

Alright, i shall continue math-ing.

If only Mcflurry could really help...

Mad women.

2010-10-17T19:29:00.001+08:00

不安的心情涌上了心头。
不安，我真的好不安。

My brain isn't really working today. Dunman paper so hard, but never mind I wouldn't get affected by this, hopefully.

Eat so many heaty food these few days, so scared that I'll fall sick, no NO WAY! I can't!

Screwed my math, physics. I don't know what to do. No matter how hard I try, I can't meet the mark. :( On the verge of giving up, but I can't, not at all. Don't think about it, not even a second. S T O P !

Starting from tomorrow it is a totally different week, not the same anymore T.T

全都不一样了。

Ps; insecurity.

Whole stack of papers :x

The feeling isn't right.

2010-10-16T19:24:00.001+08:00

Eh, the feeling I'm having now is not right, extremely not right. I feel like, everything is not the same, school end already, the uncertainty is making me feel overwhelmed. I don't think anyone understands the feeling I'm having now, I hope I can get it over soon.

I'm thinking about Os and I can't stop thinking...I'm so afraid that I'll blank out during my math papers. What if paper 1 is hard? I bet I'll break down after the paper, how will I be able to pull myself up? Then all my other papers all gone, fail! I'm very very scare, so much that i can't express it in words. I still got questions I can't do now, how? Bang my head onto the wall.

I was practicing math for today until I got affected by all those sound created by the bird cause my air-con thing got a damn bird-nest, damn noise like as though I'm living with birds -.- having headache now like my head is going to shatter into pieces soon, FML.

Should I ask Mdm Loh for consultation? I have so many questions to ask but I don't know how to ask. Argh!

C O N C E N T R AT I O N

Last day.

2010-10-15T20:49:00.001+08:00

Not like today is the last day we will be in this school cause we still have to go back next week and to sit for Os. But more like the "official" school day, as you can see, I'm very sad. I stayed till 7.10 before I left school :0 because me Marshall and Brandon were chased out, so no choice had to leave.

Thank you this school that gave me awesome memories and experiences. Never had I ever imagine that I'll become a student leader, something I had dreamt before but never thought I'll be given the chance to be one, thank you TPSS. I believe I will carry all those memories with me for life. Those time running towards teachers like a mad person to take videos of them is funny, very funny. I've never regret coming to this school because it have the most awesome lot of teachers, students and everything. We may say that the school is budget but it tried it's to provide us we as many as they could. Thank you so much.

So during recess I was busy taking pictures of everyone in class. After that was math lesson. Mdm Loh went through mock paper followed by some "gentle reminders". I knew I would teared and I did as expected, hopefully no one sees it. The thought that I will have no more lessons next week in school, made me felt hollow, a feeling of emptiness. Everything is going to be different. Mdm Loh recommend us to work during the holidays if not we'll feel very weird, like suddenly have nothing to do. True, I feel that now. Moreover, no matter how much I rant, I still have to adapt to this, everything is coming to an end, the final finale, the O level. Something we had worked hard for 4 years, the final show.

"Work hard now so that when you come back next year on January to take your results you wouldn't regret." - Mdm Loh

Isn't this so true? Let's give our best for the final dash.

What's wrong with me? Always feeling so uncertain thinking that i don't know anything. Girl, get it straight.

Nostalgic

2010-10-14T16:42:00.001+08:00

Second last day before study break starts. I don't like this feeling. During social studies mock today, Mdm Loh came in to invigilate the class. She started clearing the thing we had at our recycle corner (as always). While looking at that empty recycle corner, I felt like crying. Everything is coming to an end but I don't like ending, I wish there are forever. But sadly, 天下无不散之筵席. All good things come to an end.

We went to the hall and Mr Bala started talking about our mock performance. After that we had this talk about stress. They had the symptoms for stress, you know what? I had ALL of the symptoms. No joke. I wonder how I survive until now, maybe those good friends I had helped. The times I spent ranting about studying well at least let me distress.

I want to find one day to go to Pasir Ris beach, not to do anything silly neither is it to play. I want to scream all my stress to the sea and let it be brought away by the backwash so that I remain calm during exam. I want to do it, but it seems very weird. Shit, another restriction I set for myself. Damn when can I stop doing that?

Talk to my mum about what results I may get for Os. And I told her I'll only be able to get b3 for emath. She couldn't believe it cause she feel that I'm doing so many practice for it how would I only get b3, then I started talking about my inflexibility. Look at my result, not only it's not consistence but I always fail to do well during exam, I don't know why. Mum say I'm too nervous, too messed up. Maybe, but I tried my best to reduce on my nervousness already at least for mock, it doesn't help. 1 in 2 singaporeans get distinction? I don't think I'm getting mine. The place is too squeeze.

Don't compare yourself with others but even if you don't, others would. That's the cruelty of life.

Hope no one says something that would trigger my tear glands, it's getting too sensitive nowadays.

I dont know.

2010-10-13T18:50:00.000+08:00

O.O I slept late AGAIN yesterday, was yawning during Ms Rafidah morning lesson. So tired. Today had Physics mock. Screw it man. I mark myself, all cross cross cross one. Gosh, physics paper 2 ++ week later. FAIL. Nothing is going well, I really don't know how. Had super bad stomachache today. So pain.

Screw everything, I still can't understand arc length and sector area. Oh crap, I SAID I'M NOT PREPARED ^infinity. I'm prepared to do badly for Os, seriously, no joke. How about going to study in ITE? I'm pretty sure I am able to do it cause I like hands-on. Thats an irony, i didn't want to go to 4e1 in the first place, i dont really like science and i don't have science genes in the first place. Both my parents are more towards humanities. Ah, whatever. And everything related with my hands I can do it, hmmm, like changing light bulb SOMETHING like that :D Well, I've provided myself with another alternative route. I'm shouldn't be feeling so sad and paranoid for my future, there'll be something for you to study, provided you work hard enough, that's Life. You've to work for it, nothing comes easy. 既来之则安之。

Thanks for Ms Idzhana's pizza treat today ;) it's awesome. I'll upload the photo after Os, I promise but that will most likely be after I return back from my trip :0 tomorrow is SS, haven't studied yet, still struggling with those math questions. T.T Oh great.

I do really know how to make myself happy, it's mocha soy. Super nice :)

UTTER RANDOM: In this world, you don't you ask, you won't improve. I have seen too many of such cases, my classmates seems to like 1000 and 1 questions to ask, unlike me I've 1000 and 1 questions in my brain. LOL. I like to keep everything to myself. Ahha, failure. :S

Ps: don't me like me, you'll suffer.

Next week study week, seems like a normal school week, people who know what's happening, you'll understand :D

12!

O.O

2010-10-12T17:56:00.001+08:00

I was wondering, who the hell came out with similarity and congruency? I don't freaking understand. Triangle is a triangle, why must they be similar? I think they're happy being one of a kind and not being similar to other triangles. Why must a triangle be congruent, they're the same then let it be, why must we prove that it's the same when, it's the same -.- what's with all those mathematicians, why must they prove everything, prove this is similar, prove that is congruent something is more than zero and many more. Oh damn, I tired of all these. T.T Headache.

We should stop proving, there isn't a need to have evidence for everything we do, isn't it? If you're not tired of proving, I am.

The choice is yours.

2010-10-12T16:24:00.001+08:00

The is choice is mine, to turn in early yesterday but I chose to stay up late. Trying to solve some math questions that in the end I am still not able to solve it. I'll face the consequence, simple as such.

Emath mock, first page ok, second page starting to lose focus and as I continue totally feel like giving up already, I'm damn hungry and can't think, brain damage. Everything bad happened, damn. I was freaking flipping through the paper to find question I'm confident that I can do. That's all. Actually, I think Mdm Loh shouldn't mark my paper waste her time, I should just mark it by myself.

Well, today isn't exactly a bad day, at least I see some improvement for my chemistry, the paper wasn't that hard so that's why, but at least the happiness lasted for a while, telling me the effort i put in was worth it.

Judging from my math results, I'm definitely not confident for it all. I believe no one getting results like mine will. My brain is just too stiff too flexible, any way to soften it :0?

Math lesson is funny .Paul = Bao Luo, Naveen = Na Wei Ni? LOL. that sound so like a Teddy bear!

I'm trying, but I'm also hesitating because I'm afraid effort =/= result. You see, too much hesitation. Forward looking.

听听看。

2010-10-11T22:32:00.001+08:00

妈妈为了激励我和我有了这一段谈话。

妈妈：（突然拿起手中的面包）面包是白色还是米色？
我：哦。。。哦。。。因该是米色吧，还是白色？哎呀，我不知道。
妈妈：白色就是白色，米色就是米色做个决定。
我：（犹豫了一下）米色啦。
妈妈：你看！米色就是米色，为什么你要犹豫，有什么好犹豫的？这不是和考试一样，可以就是可以啊，为什么要那么没自信呢？

妈妈话里的意思我都听懂了，但我那失去已久的信心不是一日之间就能找会来的啊，就更罗马不是一天建成的是一样的道理。

妈妈的担心我心里有数。其实，我读书最大动力就是想给妈妈一个更好的生活。现在的我真的，真的好怕我做不到。

我就像是一个漏气的气球，在不断的为气球充气的当儿，气又从另一边不断的流出去。在这样的情况下，气球永远也吹不起。。。但我，会努力。

我亲爱的妈妈 (^_−)−☆

It's Monday BLUES.

2010-10-11T19:53:00.001+08:00

Another week gone. Today is Monday, had trial exam as usual. This time round I think I'll do badly for my summary, I wrote too many words. I keep on trying to find words to cancel but can't. Comprehension was slightly better.

Tomorrow is emath mock, my math is going to mock at me again and I'll be mockery of the subject. Tomorrow will take back the emath paper 2 we did last week then I can see badly I screwed my emath, oh yeah.

Had a great time with Iris at tampines 1 although it's only awhile. We had a creation of bacon + bread. Lazy to elaborate but yeah, time spend on laughing always flies, no exception. They're in direct proportion.

Yesterday night i was flipping through my math file when I saw the "Gd" on my worksheet I seriously felt happy. I didn't know it had such power :)

14 more days, study hard to player harder in future :$ hope so.

The horoscope thingy I saw for Taurus
It's quite true. I think it differs from person to person.

SLEEPY SUNDAY.

2010-10-10T20:05:00.001+08:00

Time for some daily ranting. Haha. So let me try to recall what I did today.

Hmmm, tried to do amath TYS again, mission fail. I only wanted myself to finish 4 questions per chapter. But damn, for unit 11 everything was fine but not the rest. Damn it, I just freaking can't solve it. I'm getting fk up with both my maths already, after i do my tys. I went to look at my report book, it just tell how inconsistent I'm for math, it's like -hopeless. I don't know what to do now. Trying my best to practice and trying to make mental note on what I learnt, I seriously hope it helps, if not I really don't know what I can do anymore.

The closer it is to Os, the further I feel I'm away from my goal. Maybe I shall reset my goal so as to have lesser disappointment when I received my results. But if I'm going to do that, I will be aiming for the tree so most likely I'll drop on the hard concrete floor. Oh yeah -.-

My mum was saying that she had never had something called a graduation night when she was at my age and she asked whether the grad night invite parents. LOL. first time she initiated to attend my school event, because most of the time I'm the one who force her to go. HAHA!

Oh it's 10/10/10, but 2010 definitely a hard year for me. But strive for it, maybe the end results may be different. Never try = never know. JIAYOU M A N R U! I'm talking to myself, ignore me :)

So I just wasn't that 潇洒。

2010-10-09T11:00:00.002+08:00

I couldn't think of the English word for 潇洒. So just directly type it in. I thought those comments that I heard I'll be fine, but actually, it's hurting me deep down.

Sometimes I wonder what makes people detest me. And those people who detest me are people whom I rarely communicate with so my question is, who are you to judge me? You know me well enough? I don't like this kind of thing. Like what I typed on facebook, I wasn't born to please you, you don't like me just feel free to walk away, seriously I don't care. I didn't rather you walk away than to stand there to make nasty comments about me. Because those comments will kill me deep down, so much that the questions just keep on appearing in my brain, what did I do to offend you, am I that bad? Don't be a hypocrite. Don't like me, say right in my face, I'll salute you, don't freaking talk behind my back. Because every word I talk to others, I mean it, unlike you. If you're feeling guilty, too bad.

I did my emath tys, stuck there again. Maybe I'll skip to other chapters then. Hmm, my emath tys is around half done already? So must rush finish it hopefully during the weekend or next week. All the best to myself.

After wishing Mr Ow Yong on Facebook he replied the reply made me felt super touched as he ask me to study hard, especially my amath, the teachers will be helpful to help me. True there are but I don't have much question to ask, I already panic like shit whenever Mdm Loh is beside me. LOL. He also talked about to think about the fun time we had in Korea for CCA immersion. It was unforgettable indeed. One of the memories that I'll remember for life.

Aiyo, I feel so tired now. I want to sleep. Maybe I'll have a nap later. Not in the afternoon, maybe after I type finish this post.

Ps; beware of what you say, cause the world is listening.

It's such a long day.

2010-10-08T20:04:00.001+08:00

I feel super shagged now. My head is like bursting any moment. I reached home at 7.15 :0 So long since like last return home so late. Also, today is the longest I've have ever stayed it the classroom, it's was super fun.

Today is almost a math day but I'm quite slack today. But at least I finished my amath practice paper 4, so happy :) yeah! I felt a sense of achievement. Woot!

Had amath quiz today during lesson. I think I've got some part wrong, but not too sure just don't feel confident of my answer. Zen me ban?

I feel my post it's so crappy today, just can't open my eyes to type properly T.T

17 days. Oh it's all crap.

It's a torment.

2010-10-07T22:07:00.001+08:00

I regretted doing this amath practice paper. It's seriously killing ALL the brain cells I've. I almost feel like banging my head against the wall. The questions are all so tedious. I fall and I stand up and I fall down again T.T I try searching for ways to answer the question but I just cant. If that's O level paper, I know I will seriously fail my amath. It's like almost every question I can only do one part then the next part I've to skip. Argh I'm going mad any moment. FML.

Sorry for the inconvenience caused.

2010-10-07T17:07:00.001+08:00

If any of you is feeling down due to Os, please click on the red X button on top. I don't want to affect your mood. I feel that my posts are too negative but I don't intend to try to sound so positive that I'm not myself. All the words that I type on my blog is definitely something that's comes out right from my head. So yeah~ feel free to exit. It's alright.

Today social studies mock, the SEQ i suppose it's a very normal D&D question but I didn't study much for bilateral relations then it came out, I was bull shitting all the way. Most likely won't score too high. SBQ worst, don't talk about it. I just didn't have enough time to finish the paper. Os I wonder how, screw it man.

Had a super long break that lasted for an hour. Was trying to do amath tys, damn I'm stuck again. Crap, i don't like this man. Do one question stuck one question, how can I even finish my tys? T.T that's my target but it's seems unreachable.

I can't stop thinking about my emath mock I took this tuesday, thinking about my performance, I can only say, GG. Something I've learnt not long ago and i forgot how to do it. Ah, CRAP. Os in 18 days? I need another year...

2 free hours tomorrow. What should I do? Amath? But I will feel like screaming when I can't get my answer. Oh crap, that would look super unglam and unsightly. Let me consider this later. Hmmm...

I just can't.

2010-10-06T16:37:00.001+08:00

Now the only word that comes to my brain is "flunk". I can't stop thinking that I'll flunk my Os. I seriously have no confident at all. Look at my Math, English, Science and Social studies mock test, they're all mocking at my ability, telling me that I can't do anything. Telling me that I'm so incompetence. I will do badly for my Os. I don't have much hope or maybe, not at all.

I don't know why I was suddenly so down during English, I look at the essay that I wanted to rewrite but I can't think of anything to write or edit the introduction. I felt as though the whole sky dropped and fall onto me but I can't so anything to it just lying flat on the ground.

I'm still damn freaking worry of my Math. Looking at the score I'm getting now, I'm speechless.

Don't talk about my future, cause my aren't too bright.

Such a sleepy day.

2010-10-05T15:55:00.001+08:00

I'm like falling a sleep any moment. I haven't been waking up so early after so long, not used to it. I think I look like a walking vampire. Lol.

Today had emath mock, it was paper 2. I tried to do like what Mdm Loh say, keep calm, but today I really can't do it. All was fine for question 1-7 until question 8. That's was when hell came. Because I still have graph not done yet, i went to do graph because I can't do question 8. My graph was another goner, I do until I don't know what I was doing and ended up calculating I don't know what equation. I still got one part not done and I didn't have enough time left. I went back to question 8. That's the best part of the exam, my mind blanked out. I stared at the question and couldn't carry on. My brain stopped functioning. At that point in time, I almost cried although I didn't. WHATS WRONG WITH ME?! Celine said I look ok cause I finish the paper quiet early but she didn't know I was just staring blankly at my question 8, my brain left my body there alone. Oh my god...

This is why I don't like this timetable, why is there math lesson after a math mock test? I don't even dare to face Mdm Loh. I can't imagine her marking my script... Took back the mock we had last week. Best man, looking at those stupid mistakes I made, I feel like slapping myself. Oh how can I, at this point in time still making all those careless mistakes that I shouldn't be making anymore. I went to the toilet during physics, tears just dropped. Im such a weakling. It's 20 days to Os do you know? Even if you do, you don't act like you do. My mind is all messed up now.

After I tried very hard to stand up, I bang myself onto the wall again. How great? Crappy feel. No future. I should think hard and plan for courses I can take when I go to a polytechnic not many choices though, with my extremely suckish Os result, I don't think I stand a chance for the JC anymore.

自我否顶。

I just thought of something so I decided to edit this post. Lol. Today Mr Shahril said another sentence that let me goes question mark question mark question mark??? He called me to go and eat ( it was lunch time ) so that I will have more energy. Then I was like: huh?! I look like I've no energy? Hmm, I'm so corpulent, I believe I've more than enough energy that my body need. I wonder what makes him said that or think that. But anyway, thanks for his concern but I still didn't eat cause I wasn't hungry. So yeah~ Random. Shall continue studying after I bathe. All the best people.

It's a quiet day.

2010-10-04T19:17:00.001+08:00

Was in school for 9++h today. Was supposed to go to school for physics consultation but Mr Ng best, left our class and was teaching another class in the lab. We could have had breakfast in the morning or at least, for myself. I was thinking of Mac's hotcake when I'm on the bus cause have to get to school at 8.30 so I can't eat it :( Sob.

I was slacking for the whole 2.5h until mother tongue lesson. Seriously, even if Mr Ng was in class I have nothing to ask so whether or not he comes in it does not make a difference to me.

Looking at how hard-working people are in my class, I felt so a shame of myself. With the state I am, how can I even do well for Os as compared to them? They put in so much effort unlike me. Oh gosh, I'm worried again. Nah, I should stop. Everybody is different... but still I can't convince myself that I can.

Ps: please stop comparing yourself. It's a hard task. Well, at least you try :)

9hours in school is no joke. I just feel like sleeping now.

The secondary 3 & below had their paper 1 today, so the school is super quiet after they left. The emptiness of the school make me felt s sense of loneliness. Hmmm, I'm crapping.

Oh my god I just saw this. How is there Korea people who read my blog? Nuffang must be joking with me.

That's not my ideal weekend.

2010-10-03T20:11:00.001+08:00

Oh shit, I spend the whole day sitting in front of the freaking television today. Anyone want to kill me? Os in 3 weeks time. Oh crap. I did nothing productive today. Oh my god, I'm getting paranoid.

I was thinking about this: should I ask Mdm Loh to give me a mock during the bio mock on Friday? I feel very insecure about my amath. I want a distinction for it but I feel that I'm having less confidence for amath than before. I screw it for too many times, panic too much during exam/test. But even i ask for it i wasn't sure I'm prepared for it. Even if I want it I also don't know how to ask, never mind, forget it. I screw myself.

Argh, stress increase exponentially with increase in age. That's life. It'll be over soon, you may even regret so don't rant. Oh well, true enough.

That's not the way.

2010-10-02T20:56:00.001+08:00

Oh my, I spent my day slacking today. I slept and did 1 or 2 question of emath with super long hours on the television. How how how? Now I'm going to study diplomacy & deterrence. Hopefully I can remember some things. But I felt really super duper guilty :(

The only thing I can tell myself is to focus. All the best man. You've got to make it there.

Jody thank my effort for the class on twitter. Seriously, I'm really happy. At least there're people in the class who appreciate my effort. To me, it's really enough. The long hours of compiling those videos is nothing, really. Actually in life isn't it the same thing? You don't need everyone to agree with what you're doing, so long there's few people who support or agree with you, you'll do it. It's hard to get the world to agree or support with you, at least there's one, it's good enough. You made my day.

I was also thinking about how I'll miss everyone in 4e1 - including the teachers. Ah, I'm getting sentimental again. I should stop if not I'm going on and on. I should focus on my studies which is more important... Aiyo...

Crap. There's typo again. Just edited it. 2.48am :0

It's children's day.

2010-10-01T18:13:00.001+08:00

Hey people, are you so busy until you forget it's children day? Let me wish you a Happy Children's Day. No matter how old we are, we will be a child in our parents heart :)

Today is and will be my most memorable children's day. All thanks to 4E1s beloved Mum and sister, Mdm Loh and Ms Tan :) ! Yahoo! So super happy. We had ice-cream and pencil but the best part that I love the most is the PowerPoint slide done by Ms Tan. It's show our p6 and picture we took last year individually. Super duper unglam, but we've all grown be it thinner, fatter or taller. I feel as though it was yesterday when I entered this school but in a few weeks time I'm graduating and departing to the next part of life. I feel sad but we can't stop because its all part of life.

This children's day is the most memorable one for me as a student for the past ten years of education. I remember this day for life, I'm sure. Thank you Mdm Loh and Ms Tan!

For once this very day in four years, my children's day wasn't just studying.

the ice-cream we had and pencils. I post one pict but I think I'll leave the rest of them for facebook it looks distorted here.

Last day of September.

2010-09-30T16:12:00.001+08:00

Hmm, I just received a call from my aunty the previous post I type all gone. Oh my god I type so much stuff.

I'm lazy to type :(

Don't you find time flies? Tomorrow is 1st October and we're taking O level in the month of October. It's coming, tension increasing.

Took back amath mock. Look at my careless mistakes, I've no eyes to look at it. It's not I don't know how to do but it's just careless here and there quote from Mdm Loh " aiyo " LOL. Seriously. The next time I'm having a test I should wear my spectacles. I need to be focus and concentrate like nobody's business.

Tomorrow physics mock. The previous mock I got b3 I want to maintain it. Shall study later... You want it, you've to work for it. No pain, no gain.

Screwed my social studies test today. My interpretation sucks. Provenance, tone, purpose, message, typicality, cross reference, point of view, audience. Oh my god, they're confusing me!

I've seen improvement for my chemistry but there still room for more improvement. I hope I can make improve it in time for Os and at least I can get a b3 or even a b4 I will be freaking super glad :) hopefully!

Improve defines a champion :) Oh yeah.

I bought my mocha frappé today. Super gay! :)

Everything has to come from you.

2010-09-29T16:25:00.001+08:00

I was the only person in the library other than the librarian for almost an hour. It was so quiet and calm until other students start entering. I was a little traumatize when Xinjing told me Mdm Loh was looking for me during chemistry lesson. So i went to look her in the staffroom. She scare me that she was bringing me to meet the Principal, my heart almost pop out, lucky she was just joking..

She talked quite a lot. She asked me whether i was panicking during amath mock, actually I felt I wasn't. I was even expecting a quite acceptable grade from it, but it was actually the opposite. I thought I was ok but the fact was that maybe mentally I'm quite tensed. I don't know, it's all maybes.

My careless mistakes are killing me. I always copy calculate the wrong numbers, damn it. How I hope I can slap myself whenever I copied or calculated any number wrongly, it's radical but I need to stop this. This is not the way! FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!

Don't waste your energy comparing with others. Then you'll be wasting the time that you have to be determined. Yes it is.

Since panic don't do you good, why do you still panic?

Yes or No? They're just side by side.

Just a short one.

2010-09-29T09:51:00.001+08:00

I feel hurt, so hurt. I freaking know I did badly for my prelims, I knew I screwed it, I don't expect people to "sing praise" to me. I seriously don't mind scolding, at least with this results, I'm prepared to face the music. But if you're going to show no concern in knowing in how I did, I'm fine. I don't need your concern too. It's doesn't matter, nothing would matter. You just destroy the confident I tried to build up with the little strength I've now, to hold on there. Yeah, it's a great job you did. You thought you know everything, but in the end, you know nothing at all.

If you don't want to see my report book, I wouldn't show it either. Maybe, not to anyone. Anyway, it belongs not to anyone, not even me, but the dustbin.

It's easier said than do.

It's hard to hold on till the end.

2010-09-28T15:53:00.001+08:00

Took back the report today. I didn't open the book in class, I didn't dare. I was just afraid to show others my emotion, with people asking about my results. I shall announce to the world or just the Internet world, I'm the second from the back of the class. I wanted to laugh out loud but I didn't, I can't. I thought I would have been calm to handle this emotion when I'm at home, well I believe I'm not. Not cool not calm enough. I'm not going to lie about how I'm able to handle this feeling. 27days to O level, with this results, I'm not capable to achieve my goal, to reach my target. Yes, I'm just not composed enough, no matter how hard I try.

我就是没想像中的潇洒。

Actually I was feeling rather gay for the day from mock until the end of the day, until now. My heart seem to drop to a never-ending abyss. My heartbeat seems so far, so far that I can't seems to feel it. The confident I've gained over the days seems to have vanish into thin air in a split second.

Maybe, I'm just that dumb and hopeless.

I've lost the energy to fight back. No more.

The unconditioned love.

2010-09-27T17:40:00.001+08:00

While walking under the rain today to cross the road to get to my block, I suddenly understood what mum walking trying to mean on the phone. She asked me whether it's raining in tampines and told me it's raining at her workplace. At the moment, I was thinking why ask me about the rain ? while crossing the road I understood. I was telling her that day that I got my sick most probably because of last week I was under the rain to get home for 2 days like today so I think she was just worried my condition might get worse. Awww. I feel that I have the best mum, she tries her very best to give me the full love of both parents, I know it's hard on her. If she had the choice, she would have chosen the other choice but she can't. She worked so hard to provide me with what I want, everything I want to try, she gives it to me. I believe I may be even more fortunate than the other children. I also believe very little can have a "friend-like" relationship with their parent but I have it with my mum. I can say anything to her and for many instances I feel more like my mum's mum, for real. Oh my god, so old. I've got an old spirit in me :0 haha :)

The more fortunate you become, the lesser you stop to cherish what you're having but to expect even more, we're just greedy people.

Your parents are your best support regardless of what happens, they'll always be there for you. Love them like how they love you.

If they don't know how much you love them, maybe, it's time to tell them ;)

Mummy, one day I will prove to world that you made the right decision :) !

The memories are forever.

2010-09-26T09:44:00.001+08:00

Yesterday at 5yi house we started reminiscing about Kailin, Weilin and mine childhood memory and those time we spent together. I was thinking about the pain Weilin put on mr by hitting me with different objects. However, every weekend I will still look forward to meeting with them. Maybe because I'm the only child but they were my best playmates even until now. Those memories were really wonderful, the pain and every unhappiness doesn't matter, it becomes laughter when we talk about it. How I wish I can go back to those time... Although now it's equally good. I can't imagine my childhood without them, it would be painted with black and white without colours.

Let's be thankful to every experience we encounter and treat them as lesson to make up who we are now or even the future.

Hmmm, I'm sitting in the clinic waiting for my number 14. Now it's 9. Mum want me to go see doctor. But the best thing is that when the sun shine on me, my block nose suddenly cleared, yea vitamin d it's rather useful. My throat is still a bit pain and normally it would lead to minor fever which I totally hate as it leads to bodyache and headache. Totally, extremely suckish. Ahh.

I woke up at 4am yesterday, can't sleep because of block nose. Mum call me go eat medicine at home. I went to eat. When I woke up at 8am she call me to eat it again. Then I was saying " Mum, later over-dose la!" LOL.

I need to recover asap. I need to study ;(

When I end this post, it's 3 more people to me ;) Yeah.

I'm editing this post again before I take my rest. I want to sleep but it's a freaking hard thing :( never mind I'll try my best to though.

I saw this on twitter, for once the horoscope thing is right. I mean the ego one. LOL.

It's just - unbearable pain.

2010-09-25T21:44:00.001+08:00

I don't like it when I fall sick, especially when my throat is swollen. I feel hot and cold, headache and can't focus at all. Oh my god.. :( I'm bored now. At my aunt's house for weekly gathering. My family is playing mahjong and I'm siting on the sofa watching television. I can't be playing mahjong when I can't even focus, that's a sure lose deal. Nah, I don't like a sure lose one. I feel that my nose is like a tap, it leaks without me knowing, damn it, so unglam ;( wth is that. Lucky I'm with my family, I can't imagine this if this is happening happening in school. Haiyo ;( it's too painful, I want telling the world how painful is this but it's indescribable. I want to scream, but nobody's listening. Yes, no one would. I wouldn't be sad because I'm so used to that...

Thanks to my brilliant cousin's help, I finally finished my amath paper. So glad i have one assignment down and I won't be pondering about it all the time :D

Here you're looking for me again.

2010-09-25T16:20:00.001+08:00

Of course there isn't anyone looking for me but sickness. My flu and sore-throat seems to be knocking on my door again, I'm trying not to open it, if not it's going to be pure hell while studying. Oh my god, everyone knows now is not the time to fall sick, and I shouldn't be. Most probably I don't have enough sleep again. You know, I just sleep for long. 8am I woke up and stare at the clock and my eyes doesn't shut anymore, damn it I need a sleep god with me. I woke up and started "Mathing" time flies when I do math. Tried to finish both papers but while doing emath until the third last page, I just can't concentrate anymore. Gave up, maybe shall try it tonight or tomorrow. Both papers so difficult, i felt so pathetic while doing it ;( Ahhhh, tried to practise light questions which I freaking hate the most, hopefully I can literally see "light" soon.

I'm seriously wtf at my face now. It's like trying to tell people how stress I'm now. It's damn freaking ugly, I don't want go out :( Hopes it sort of gets a bit better on Monday...

Those little steps that you take will contributed to the end result, only with perseverance.

You'll be prepared, when you make the effort to.

This aren't a real bubble, but dream is like a bubble, you don't contain or hold it well, it's will burst into thin air in a spilt second.

The Friday we've been looking forward to.

2010-09-24T16:40:00.001+08:00

Just reached home after lunch with Iris, Cindy and Yushan. Walk walk a bit and came back. Met a super rude cashier and aunty. What's with the wrong with them. You guys should know, what comes around goes around, we're student don't mean we've to accept your treatment to us, we're human beings too, regardless of our age.

Today had amath mock. I totally screwed it, around 10 marks sure gone. Well, I tried my best to secure my 70 marks though but how will it be, I wouldn't know. The situation I had yesterday and I am still able to stay chill today it was good enough, this was the very least I could do.

I wonder, do I have a face that I know everything? If i did, I wished I could change my face to the blur face that I don't know anything. I hate people making assumption, like my mum, forever. You'll never know, the very person you assumed that knew everything was the one who knew nothing, that's the contradicting point.

I subscript to this horoscope thingy on twitter. They said that Taurus's strength are that they're patient and calm. Although I strongly agree to this as Taurus around me are really patient and calm people but seriously, I'M NOT! Cheat my feeling. How I wished I was calm and patient... ;(

Like seriously, do anyone think that I looked tired? Mr Shahril said I should have a good rest, twice. I really wonder if I look that tired :0! Leave me a tag people, I will reply to it, I promise -.-

I don't like what's happening now, nothing. Laughing was the best remedy although it lasted for a while. Thank you very much for people who make me laugh.

I was thinking about something more to blog about but while listening to the radio I forgot. I suddenly had this thought. If the emath mock paper we did on Tuesday, I didn't do well, I can tell you that I wouldn't do well for Olevels. This is so going to be true. I'm so confident for the paper, if I couldn't make it again this time round, I'm hopeless. No one's able to help me anymore. I don't know why I felt so extreme maybe most importantly the paper wasn't that hard, if I still can't do well means that I'm not prepared for the basic. Ahh. Whatever, I'm going to stop thinking if not I can go on and on. I believe more than half of the time my negative side of my brain overruled the positive side. So yeah, that's why I rarely type positively and think positively (although I always tried to). But I looked positive for more than half of the time, so I guess I'm ok ;) hmmm, crap!

Ps: I'm speaking lesser at home and that's freaking scary. Omg I'm getting emo-er like me during math lesson. When I emo more than half of the time -.- :0

Oh ya, I almost forgot, it's Ms Koh's birthday today! Happy birthday! I doubt she reads my blog but never mind ;D

The horoscope thing I'm talking about.

Isn't this all - crap?

2010-09-23T23:17:00.001+08:00

I'm super irritated now. I tried doing some amath questions then the best thing is every question I try in my tys I get the wrong answer. Oh my god, I'm neat, not that I'm mess up with all my working but it's wrong freaking wrong and I don't know why. You must be thinking why I'm ranting here because nobody in my house will freaking understand the irritating feeling I'm experiencing I want to do some extreme behavior but mum's at house I don't have the liberty to do it. Well, I think I should just stop doing anything related to math now. Not at all. I need to clear my brain, seriously, before I go crazy and start panicking during mock tomorrow and make silly mistake like prelim. I'm just going to go in to learn something. So self-consoling but it don't seems to work. I want go dissect my brain, like real.

Do my workings look messy?

Title-less

2010-09-23T16:56:00.001+08:00

I really don't know how to "title" this post because there's no specific event that happened to me. As usual, I had just finished eating my lunch, slacking for "a while". On the way out of school, walking under the drizzling rain all by myself, I didn't felt loneliness, however, calmness. Maybe I just need time like that when I'm alone, not thinking about anything just walking aimlessly, not really aimlessly because I have a destination. I just too used with being alone being the only child, that there are time when I don't feel like communicating with others but due to the situation or circumstance I can't I just have to put up a mask and continue talking like I really love to. That's not the case. I believe most people have a mask, just depends on how "permeable" it is. I feel like I'm crapping, whatever.

There too many things on earth, too many why, so many that one day we'll just grew tried of asking it. It became pointless to ask "Why?".

there are times when you really wanted to know whether anyone care? You just wanted some form of recognition to reaffirm your abilities.

If that's the reason why...

I editing this post again. I'm super duper vexed now. Doing a math practice paper before the test/exam do me nothing good. It will just end me make feeling more worried for not being able to get to answer/the steps. And there I am now. I want to scream out loud now. AHHHHH! I don't like that practice paper, so hard the previous paper I don't have much problem but this T.T . I don't do today tmr also need do, need to go through next math lesson... I should stay calm not, don't panic if not I'm going to forget more things... Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!! ;(

完蛋了。

Another day.

2010-09-22T16:12:00.001+08:00

Standard, I just finished my lunch. I had physics remedial just now. Check through mock paper and I improved, yeah! I improve around 9 to 10 marks, somehow I felt guilty, very guilty. If I had studied hard enough for my physics paper for prelim I wouldn't have done that badly, but well it's over no point crying over spilled milk. you've learnt a valuable lesson.

It's always so sad when the very person that is suppose to be supporting you said something that pulled you really down and he/she stopped believing you. All your confident would immediately drop all the way to zero. Beware of what you say, for the littlest thing you say may put on an impact on others. Self-note.

When you laugh, everyone laugh with you
when you cry, you'll cry alone.

人，永远是矛盾的主体，经常处在犹豫和憧憬地困惑中，夹在世俗的单行道上，走不远，也回不去。﹣陶李

I saw this sentence on the article she wrote for the Chinese newspaper on Monday while reading it yesterday. It's so true, isn't it?

人只所以会心累，就是徘徊在坚持和放弃之间，举棋不定。－陶李

If only...

2010-09-21T16:54:00.001+08:00

I was recalling what I learnt today. Hmmm. Yeah, be careful when looking at question. Very important. Went lunch with Iris asked her the math differentiation question of the stupid e thingy. She tried her best to explain to me but I can't understand.

I conclude that it's so hard for people to explain concept to me and they would rarely succeed. This is also why I don't like to ask question because I won't get the answer I want and would end up making people pissed or irritated. So in the end I will still end up say "Oh yes I understood" or "I will try to understand later" those are all stupid excuses more than half of the time I don't even understand a single thing and I go home even worse -.- yeah so dumb. I just wanted to end the conversation. Isn't this stupid? I was joking to Iris that I needed to book a consultation time with Mdm Loh if not both my As will be drifting further and further from me and I need them real badly for my l1r5. But yea, like what I've said above. I book appointment then I also don't know what to ask. In the end, it's the same.

I needa study like a machine but it's hard, always hard.

It's hard for people to understand me, it's complicated.

Staring at the sky does calms one down. We don't need stress but that's inevitable. Live with it, no matter how hard it is. What doesn't kill just make one stronger.

5 more weeks to go.

2010-09-20T16:17:00.001+08:00

I have been blogging so frequently nowadays. This blog is now used to do my ranting of studies of weeks preparing for Os. Well, after Os I will probably read through my blog again and see how negative I am, taking a good laugh from it.

No one should slacken at this point in time, especially me. I need to achieve my goals, I have no choice. I will give my best, as much as I could and never give up, life is beautiful. Watching charity show never fail to bring me the message, how fortunate I am and I should never give up. The charity show yesterday night was awesome, that's how a charity show should be done. It really touches the bottom of our heart, people will donate out of willingness but not anything else.

ps: I was just trying to run away from reality when I said I don't care. 自欺欺人. You can always lie to everyone on earth but not yourself. Face it & live it.

So, it's a Sunday.

2010-09-19T10:16:00.001+08:00

Nothing much go say because my day just started. Study study study. Well, I seriously feel that emath mensuration FML man. I just cannot understand, worse still even after looking at the answer -.- Yeah, pathetic me.

Edited-6.51pm
Since I'm stuck with my math(again) I shall edit this post. Hmmm, maybe mensuration wasn't the worse but I found another that I'm CMI in, make a guess? Correct no prize. Lol. It's probability. It's so "logical" that my brain can't make a logic out of it ;( maybe my English too weak so can't understand. -Sighing in process- it's such a love-hate relationship I'm having with math. It can let me fly up high in the sky when I solve a question and pull me right into hell when I can't get the answer :0 bye I'm going back to hell.

Man-made rainbow.

Sleep

2010-09-18T09:37:00.001+08:00

Since young I have never ever thought that sleeping could be such a tedious and arduous task. My nights are never smooth. I wake up don't know how many times, even during weekend like today. Am I too tense and stress up? I don't know. I seriously need my sleep, quality sleep I mean.

I spent the whole afternoon plus night yesterday doing that amath paper, omg. But I manage to spot my mistake, for the first time I'm not blind. And how could the answer have typo?! Cheat my feeling, I wasted so much time trying to find what went wrong in my workings ;( and in the end, people told me the answer got typo >< !

Well, I've to go back to study. My horoscope say I have to learn to be persistent so there am I going to be persistent towards my studies. Byebye.

What goes around, will go around. Unstoppable.