Took back the report today. I didn't open the book in class, I didn't dare. I was just afraid to show others my emotion, with people asking about my results. I shall announce to the world or just the Internet world, I'm the second from the back of the class. I wanted to laugh out loud but I didn't, I can't. I thought I would have been calm to handle this emotion when I'm at home, well I believe I'm not. Not cool not calm enough. I'm not going to lie about how I'm able to handle this feeling. 27days to O level, with this results, I'm not capable to achieve my goal, to reach my target. Yes, I'm just not composed enough, no matter how hard I try.
我就是没想像中的潇洒。
Actually I was feeling rather gay for the day from mock until the end of the day, until now. My heart seem to drop to a never-ending abyss. My heartbeat seems so far, so far that I can't seems to feel it. The confident I've gained over the days seems to have vanish into thin air in a split second.
Maybe, I'm just that dumb and hopeless.
I've lost the energy to fight back. No more.
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