Nostalgic

Second last day before study break starts. I don't like this feeling. During social studies mock today, Mdm Loh came in to invigilate the class. She started clearing the thing we had at our recycle corner (as always). While looking at that empty recycle corner, I felt like crying. Everything is coming to an end but I don't like ending, I wish there are forever. But sadly, 天下无不散之筵席. All good things come to an end.

We went to the hall and Mr Bala started talking about our mock performance. After that we had this talk about stress. They had the symptoms for stress, you know what? I had ALL of the symptoms. No joke. I wonder how I survive until now, maybe those good friends I had helped. The times I spent ranting about studying well at least let me distress.

I want to find one day to go to Pasir Ris beach, not to do anything silly neither is it to play. I want to scream all my stress to the sea and let it be brought away by the backwash so that I remain calm during exam. I want to do it, but it seems very weird. Shit, another restriction I set for myself. Damn when can I stop doing that?

Talk to my mum about what results I may get for Os. And I told her I'll only be able to get b3 for emath. She couldn't believe it cause she feel that I'm doing so many practice for it how would I only get b3, then I started talking about my inflexibility. Look at my result, not only it's not consistence but I always fail to do well during exam, I don't know why. Mum say I'm too nervous, too messed up. Maybe, but I tried my best to reduce on my nervousness already at least for mock, it doesn't help. 1 in 2 singaporeans get distinction? I don't think I'm getting mine. The place is too squeeze.

Don't compare yourself with others but even if you don't, others would. That's the cruelty of life.

Hope no one says something that would trigger my tear glands, it's getting too sensitive nowadays.