listen.

Finally have the time to sit down and blog. Although I normally don't take a very long time to blog but blogging when I know I have to study economics instead just make me guilty so I don't even dare to open the webpage to start blogging. Well, that's an opportunity cost you see, the next best alternative forgone is obvious my grades if I don't study. As much as I hate to sit there and study, reality tell you you can't be that "cool" and go ahead with what your heart says. Oh well, it's ok now I am done with freaking economics. It's annoying that there's is now 5options instead of 4 in the pass and the answers are so close with one another, I need some luck, just give me a little little bit please *pray hard*. I already gave my best so I guess no regrets so yeah, I will accept what I receive at the end of the day. Even if it's bad I still have to move on, it's life you see, no point getting upset just look ahead. Ok, I guess that's me when i am feeling rather - positive. 

Great day once again. I really don't know why I insisted the dinner meet-up with auntie Joel today. Yesterday afternoon I was asking Joel for a meet-up during this week then she say the best will be on tuesday but she wasn't sure whether she has project meeting then I was like "As long as you can make it, I will go and meet you." that was something I have never said before. I think this is something call "You Only Live Once" feeling, I really haven't met her for a long long time after nus started school. Since her exams are coming I guess it will be great to meet-up and chat, so yeah I was glad I chose to do that. Cherish the time you get to meet your friends, don't hesitate so much! Sometimes we just need that adrenaline rush/irrational thinking to push us to do something you have never done, as long as you feel it's right, just go ahead. Still feeling so happy meeting Auntie Joel, simple joy :)  

Last weekend my auntie was saying about my growing up then she told my mum how I can just grow up by myself with her giving me allowance and feeding me. That was the same sentimental I had some point in my life, I was amazed how I did it. Actually I don't feel much about it but sometimes you compare it with some other kids then I will wonder, seriously how did I grow up like this? It fascinates, me. I am just this obedient girl who just obey whatever my mum says "don't read comic, it's bad", now when I look back, I feel as though I don't live with a mind of myself. How I have to take care of other kids in my kindergarden when I was in K2, I really don't know how I did that, bringing the younger boy to the toilet then after he pee I have to clean the toilet because it was just too dirty. Amazed how when I am the only child learn all these. No experience of really playing playground cause I always feel like a loser running around the playground, plus I don't really have playmates around my house. It's always home, kindergarden, nanny's house. No where else. I think the only thing I do best is to talk to adult, like how the cooking auntie in my kindergarden really like me. I don't exactly remember what I did but well I remember how the auntie smiles when she sees me. These don't really seems sad to me anyway since I barely have memories when I was younger already, it's already slowly fading. I always believe everyone has a different childhood that's why it makes a different us, a unique self. I really hate being a good kid(with bad tantrum) but reality crash me, nobody likes a bad kid(you better hide your tantrum:( ).

Enough of my ranting about my growing up, but I am really thankful for people around me that follow me through till now. Like really really thankful. I remember how I always throw tantrum (it is still valid till now although it's hard to see it, only if you're really really close) since young, then there was once my mum send me for speech and drama lesson then during the final finale she couldn't make it she called my auntie (ok I have many aunties, a bit lazy to mention which one) to watch it in place of her. I don't know why I was so upset then i kept calling my mum and kind of refuse to go home or something. Oh my, thinking of it I feel so embarrassed. But it was through all these rough journey I took, I am really close with my family now. I believe they are one part of me, they watch me grow up till who I am now. I don't get why I am so sentimental now, but yeah really thankful to them. I will leave other parts when I get sentimental. 

this song is like my favourite song now. 

i love the part when she sings 

"有一种漂亮 是为自己坚强"

listen to your heart, be thankful for the slightest thing. 

you are alone, not lonely.